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Question about a little girl in my preschool music class.

I teach 150 children ages 2-6 music classes weekly. I have one little 3 year old girl who is beginning to worry me more and more.

She is SOOOO introverted. She never NEVER joins in the classroom activities, we play instruments, sing dance, bean bag games, etc. and she never moves one arm or even looks up from her lap.

I left her alone for a while so she could become accustom to her surroundings now I have tried to encourage her and help her to at least clap or hold a set of bells.....she cried when I do this.

I talked to her teacher about her and she is worried too...she does good school work, colors well, cuts well....but doesnt play at PE time either.

I KNOW she can talk, grandmother says she is a blabber

What do you think, just a really shy child or more going on? I am getting more and more concerned b/c of her lack of interaction.

She is in no way a bad child...just introverted. HELP!!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:05 PM on Jan. 11, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (8)
  • I would be worried too. I wasa very shy child but once I got to know them I was fine.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:08 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • She will come around on her own time.Maybe you can have another little girl comeoverand talk to her. Eventuallyshe will join the other kids as well.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:08 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • OP HERE:


    Anon...I meant to add this...

    We have been in the same classes now since AUGUST....


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:09 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • There was a little girl in my daughers kindergarten class that was so shy she had boarder line "selective mutism". She is now in 3rd grade and coming out of her shell but it was VERY hard on the little girl, the parents, the teachers, and even the other students who mistook it for being mean.

    You can talk to the parents about what you see.


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • Let it go but still keep an eye on her. Maybe she doesn't liked to be pushed to be someone she is not. I have a 3 yr old in my preschool that is just starting to talk to us and her friends. She still doesn't participate in music but she is participating more in gym class. She is still quiet but she is getting better. You cannot force a child to be someone they are not. You cannot force a child to be outgoing when that is not their personality. Trust me, I have been very shy all my life and the more someone pushes me, the more I withdraw.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 2:20 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • sounds like my oldest.

    she's got a sound sensitivity anxiety thing going on. too many kids, and noises and she shuts right down into herself and nothing will pull her out.

    she's in grade 3 now and slowly coming out of her shell enough to actually speak in class. its taken a long time and a lot of effort on our part - we get places early, taught her relaxation things to stay calm.


    Answer by hypermamaz at 2:28 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • My oldest is like that, especially around teachers. Although she was much more extroverted as a toddler. The older she gets the more shy she gets in social situations. Basically she has social anxiety like me and it's pretty bad. She freaks out when teachers talk to her and won't answer half the time which has caused problems in the past.
    I was like that as a kid, too. I still am. I'd just rather be left alone but people insist I have to interact with others. It annoys me as an adult and terrified me as a child. I'm a natural loner.
    Anyway, I would just keep encouraging her to join in and give her more time to get comfortable.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 4:38 PM on Jan. 11, 2010


    Please read the article, but here are some highlights:


    Many children are labeled shy. If you understand what this term really means, you may decide that it's not such a negative quality after at all. Shyness can be a help or a handicap to a child, depending partly on how it's handled.
    1. When shyness helps a child
    Shyness is a personality trait, not a fault. Some of the nicest people I've ever known are shy. These persons tend to be attentive listeners, private people who exude a welcome presence even without saying a word.
    6. It's tempting to want to help the shy child. But be careful—the more you pull, the more some children recoil. Create a comfortable environment that lets her social personality develop naturally. Never label a child "shy."
    Hug your quiet child. The world will be a more gentle place because of him or her.

    Answer by 0123456 at 7:20 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

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