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How do you handle grandkid birthdays when your families don't get along with each other(or you)?

my parents are divorced, my grandmother doesn't like my father in law, and my in laws and i are as different as day and night. My husband's grandparents are as conservative as it gets, and my grandmother is open minded and argumentative. I have 3 sisters- in- law but by then it will be 4. I have 3 brothers-in-law, and one more by then. Plus 2 sisters of my own. Every one wants to see her at every little turn and only half of the family will work with me on it. Every one else expects it on their time. What am i going to do???!!!!!


Asked by Anonymous at 2:09 PM on Jan. 11, 2010 in Holidays

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Invite everyone to attend the festivities. Those that REALLY LOVE your childwill attend. Those that do not won't. They ALL NEED to conduct themselves like ADULTS. The one they are hurting is the child. Plain and simple. Enjoy your child's birthday! Good Luck.

    Answer by AdrianaS at 2:36 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • When my oldest (now 15) was a baby my mother told me she only wanted to come to events if she was the ONLY grandparent there. She had issue with my step-mother and was intimidated by my mil. I had to step up to the plate and be the adult... I told her that I planned on inviting EVERYone to every event. It was her choice to show up or not. (her loss).

    She missed all 3 christenings, 2 first communions, and possibly the 3rd child's communion (this May). I have done the adult thing... it is her choice to enjoy the children or not.

    ... she does visit and stay for a week about once a year.


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • Have a celebration with just your immediate family. If the extended group wants to give a gift fine. You can explain that you want the birthday to be fun and positive. Don't let them spoil a birthday. If each group wants to take her for a hamburger or and ice cream cone you can work out a time close to her birthday. It doesn't have to be on the same day.. grannywilson

    Answer by grannywilson at 2:35 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • Well bottom line is this is your baby, you are the mother. You plan the party to suit yourself. Let them all know when it is, and it is their problem to be there or not and to get along with the other guests or not. These people are all your family, they need to learn to accept eachother for the benefit of your child.

    Answer by robyann at 3:10 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • have the party invite all and tell them to act like adults or leave that simple do it all the time.... works wonders when you make people face adulthood head on

    Answer by cara124 at 3:53 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • We have this same problem but we have figured out a way around it. We just invite everybody to everything. If anybody starts to act like the children and throw a fit over something we tell them they either need to grow up or leave because they are not going to ruin our kids events. Just about all the grandparents have had this happen to them so they know we don't pick sides. They now suck it up for the kids and there are no arguements or fights.

    Answer by Juggalette0327 at 10:07 AM on Jan. 14, 2010