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ok my oldest son father keep popin in and out of his life he only wants 2 c him when it around the time we go 2 court and when he do have him he treat him wrong and my son is now startin to c this what should I do

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kadmomma

Asked by kadmomma at 3:13 PM on Jan. 11, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 5 (101 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • document it, get a folder, a notebook and weekly log the phone calls, visits, and any issues between the father and your son. take that to court as a hard document of what has been happening, better than a round about account of what you feel is happening.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 3:39 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • I would tell your son that you are sorry that his dad is not there as much as your son would like him to be and that is not anything that anyone can change. That your son is welcome to say something to his dad, and that you know, in spite of how dad is acting, that dad loves him as best he can.

    BF sounds like a douche. But as the CP, and the only responsible parent, you need to try, IMO, to preserve your kid's self-esteem. He thinks something is wrong with him and that is why BF is a douche. Gently let him know that is not true, that you and Dad love him to pieces but that you show your love differently, everyone does, and you are sorry DS is hurt.

    I think it's up to the kid to boot the parent from their life. If you are the good parent, don't badmouth the bad one. Let your kid think OP loves him very much, and let the kid at some point boot dad from his life for being a douche. Good luck.
    LiliM

    Answer by LiliM at 3:40 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • Thanks im try but its so hard he has another baby and treat the other child like gold and bad mouth mine im jus confussed
    kadmomma

    Answer by kadmomma at 4:02 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • my dad had me for the summers and mom for the rest of the year, and every time i had to make the transition, they would bad mouth eachother, not to eachothers faces, but to me, it made me feel like was worthless because they couldnt at least be not mean for my sake. so just try not to be mean about stupid OP. let OP know that it is hurting DS and he needs to stop, also you could try to talk to his other childs mother, get her to talk to him too
    maxxsmommy13

    Answer by maxxsmommy13 at 3:32 AM on Jan. 12, 2010

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