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My husband was supposed to get "Fixed"

But it hasn't happened yet, he's not one of those guys who voluntered because I did all the work of having three kids. Nope, he actually thought that I should be the one to get anything done. So then I told him, "you know after you get fixed I'm gonna have sex with you (in a way that he's always wanted to, and I've never done with him). Then he got mad at me, and we haven't talked about it since. I don't want to accidently get pregnant. I good with 3. What should I do? Should I go get my tubes tied, or should I wait for him. I was just really nervous about getting it done, and thought it would be easier; less recovery time; more fair if he would just get it done. Help? What do you think?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:12 PM on Jan. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • LOL!! My hubby has cancelled twice!! I refuse to have my tubes tied because insurance won't cover it! They will his vasectomy, let me know how you get him to do it!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 4:14 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • I would stop having sex with him completely. I would tell him when he get the vas, and gets the test results saying it was effective then you will have sex again.
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 4:14 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • This is a decision that has to be made between you and your husband, and it has to be one with which both of you are perfectly comfortable. Our opinions don't count, and it sounds like your husband is not too interested in getting himself fixed, so I think this is a conversation that you need to have with him very soon.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:14 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • In a very kind way, ask him if he simply doesnt want to do the procedure of if he is not sure he is done having kids.
    You need that information first.
    If it is fear based, then simply make an appointment to get your tubes tide.
    If it is beacuse he isnt sure he is done having kids then you have a talk that needs to take place.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:15 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • respectfully I have to disagree with Nathskitten... that is a very hostile approach and will do more damage to the marriage than good.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • It sounds like you two need to sit down and have a serious discussion about this. Do some research on vasectomies and tubals or hysterectomies. His surgery and recovery time will be much less than yours, not to mention a lot cheaper. But you need to come to a decision together.
    Aqua_Jen

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 4:16 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • If you do not want anymore kids. You do not want to raise anymore kids ever. You should go get FIXED. Take control over your own birth control.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 4:19 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • I agree with louise2... if you are the one who doesn't want anymore children then you should be the one who gets fixed.
    ProudMom_5703

    Answer by ProudMom_5703 at 4:27 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • I don't think his decision has anything to do with having more kids,he's just a chicken sh*t about the procedure and/or he thinks it will make him "less of a man".Do research together and insist on it.Why should you go thru more pain and recovery? My hubby had it and was back to normal in a week,and he's all man still,lol!
    TMJ121099

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 4:50 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • I think you relied on his decision to have it done. If he is backing out then that's just wrong. You could have had it done when you had your third child and it would not require you to have an additional surgery and insurance would have loved to pay for that instead of another child.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:28 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

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