You do not need to put your life on hold until your children are out of the house. Your children love you regardless if you are with them 24/7 or 4/5. You just have to be creative and have a lot of stamina, lol. You can easily work a job while your kids are in school/daycare, and pick up a second job after they're sleeping or on some weekends, and still spend non-school time with your kids. However, unless you have access to free/cheap/extended-day childcare, it may be difficult to justify getting a second job, as all of this money may go to pay for childcare. But if it works for you financially, go for it! If you're not comfortable having your SO around your kids yet, spend time with him after the kids are in bed, have lunch dates, a random hr or 2 on the weekends.
You sound as though you may be overwhelmed, in which case: YOU CAN DO IT! Pretty soon it will be your normal routine.
at 10:13 AM on Jan. 12, 2010