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When should I ask him to be home? First baby...

Fiancee just got a job (thank God with this economy!) and although he will be gone for 2-3 months while I'm pregnant and I'm taking it hard...I understand he's making money and need to. The job is as a UXO technician, but as a civilian, basically they do bomb range clearance cleaning up different military bases, they leave for 2-3 months, stay in hotels, work mon-fri on ranges and come home for a month, then leave for another 3 etc. He just left today, but since it's our first baby and I don't enter my 3rd trimest till first wk of Feb. we both really aren't sure about time. I guess what I'm asking is how much time do I need to ask him to stay with me? 4-6 wks? and I'm due May 8th, so should we schedule him coming back at least 2 wks before that? Yeah he's lucky, he gets to be away from me almost the entire 3rd trimester and I'm stuck with my grouchy self haha ;)

Answer Question
 
Jeda624

Asked by Jeda624 at 7:03 PM on Jan. 11, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 18 (6,253 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I unexpectedly had my daughter 3 weeks early. So, you never know.
    xtwilightx

    Answer by xtwilightx at 7:07 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • You'll want his help AFTER the baby more than both of you moping around waiting for the baby. Also, he will want to get to know the baby after he/she arrives, so schedule him to come home as close to your due date as possible so you can both spend those precious hours with the baby.
    pagan_mama

    Answer by pagan_mama at 7:20 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • yeah i agree with pagan have him come home closer to the due date a week before would probably be good most first timers are usually late so you never really know i was 9 days early theres no way to know exactly when you could go unless your being induced or something but your going to need him there for afterwards my hubby was only home with me for a day after we got out of the hospital so in total 3 days before he went back to work it wasnt really a big deal considering he did come home every day but in your situation it's a bit more difficult
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:26 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • How soon do you need to decide?

    First babies average 41 weeks, 1 day of gestation, but of course, your baby can come anytime! ;-)
    You can watch to rule out any complications that might arise (just in case you discover later you'll need interventions/to deliver earlier).

    I think I would guess that the month of May would be a great time... (through early June)
    ?

    Good luck!!
    doulala

    Answer by doulala at 8:38 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • He is let out of his three month contract till April 15 and has a choice to stay an additional 2 wks through May 1st, they will pay him day and a half every day those two wks
    Jeda624

    Answer by Jeda624 at 8:55 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • baby is due May 8th he needs to let them know by March 15 if he's staying those additional two weeks. just didn't know if I should have him ending work within a wk of due date...thank you ladies!
    Jeda624

    Answer by Jeda624 at 8:56 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • If I were you, I would wait to decide (or answer, anyway) until almost March 15th then.
    And if you are healthy and fine then I would suggest May 8th, on, for as long as it can work.
    If you don't have a labor partner you can look into getting a birth doula to be with you for the early/pre labor experience, and even labor if it should come to that.


    doulala

    Answer by doulala at 9:27 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • i would just tell him to come home instead of staying the additional 2 weeks. but, that's my opinion.
    mommytobobby

    Answer by mommytobobby at 11:10 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

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