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Are there any Christian Mom's out there that can make some suggestions that have helped teens NOT to have sex. We are trying to teach our 15 yr old daughter to wait until she is mature enough to handle all that comes with 'sex'. How do we keep the lines of communication open but also try and prevent them from making a huge mistake!

please only answer if you have suggestions and believe in kids abstaining- I do not want to hear just opinions from other mom's with differing views- i totally understand everyone has their own opinion- i am looking for constructive help in raising our daughter in a christian home that strongly feels teens should NOT have sex at all....thank you !!

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Asked by MJM777 at 7:45 PM on Jan. 11, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (21)
  • Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:50 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • I don't have teens yet but I was a teen who abstained because of what I was taught. Now as a pastors wife I have an even stronger belief of why young ppl shouldn't have sex.

    My mother was always honest and upfront, she didn't sugar coat anything. I understood what sex was about, what it consisted of so there was no curiosity to try anything. My mom explained what happens when you have sex before you are ready and told me to watch my friends and observe what goes on in their relationships. I did and that was enough for me. She always had the communication lines open so if I had a new question she wouldn't assume it was bc I wanted to do anything.

    As a Christian we plan to explain Gods purpose for marriage and how wonderfully made we all are, that God intends for us to enjoy life and sex but that its almost impossible to enjoy, guilt free, worry free, sin free without being in a relationship that's blessed by God.

    Answer by 1st_LadyD at 7:52 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • Being open, honest and non-judgemental is the key..Teens will talk to their friends because they know they will not be judged by them, they can't bear the thought of a parent thinking of them as less than pure..Act interested and not bossy or demanding, it cool and you will be suprised how at ease she will feel talking to you...Please try and let her know that there is nothing new under the sun, which means we as women have all been in our teens before we reached the ages we are now and EVERYTHING they do, we have done it and thought we perfected it...Your just trying to spare her the heart ache that comes along with the pressure of sex...With sex comes a lot of responsibility, you have to be physically & emotinally & mature enough for all that comes with it...pregnancy, diseases, the boy leaving you after he gets what he wants, word getting out that your easy...its an emotional nightmare, but b patient & just talk..

    Answer by nikki1012009 at 7:55 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • I am telling my 9yr dd that I do not want her following in my errors. She needs to put school first, go on to college, get an awesome job and see the world, travel, and live a little before getting married and having kids. I know marriage is not gaurenteed but it will give her a better leg to stand on relationship wise. She claims not to want kids(she's the oldest of 4), but my ds said that too and was pregnant at 12! I want more for my kids, and getting hung up on some guy that might be sniffing and watering every hydrant he sees is not worth the hastle or heartache! The sad thing is is that I have a long and hard battle ahead because girls looking for love and acceptance from a man is inevitable and will cause her even more pain and heartache because she will just find a man like her dad!!! All we can do is tell them our hopes and dreams, hope they do their best to do the right thing and leave them in Gods hands! GL!!!

    Answer by ladyd6280 at 7:59 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • My daughter is 14 and I'm hoping that she will waint until she is at least out of hight school. I do talk to her about sex and how boys will use girl for it. She says she is going to wait until she is older and in a serious relationship, but who knows, she is only in 8th grade. She is also not allowed to date until she is 16 and that is if she shows me that she is mature enough and maintains good grades. I also talk to her about self respect alot.

    Answer by staceynoel at 8:01 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • 1. Sex is a powerful force that can destroy if not used properly. Like atomic power, sex is the most powerful creative force given to man. When atomic power is used correctly it can create boundless energy; when it is used in the wrong way it destroys life. Sex is the same kind of powerful force. Sex is a gift from God to give us the greatest pleasure, to help in creating a deep companionship with one's spouse and for procreation of the next generation. But if you play with this powerful force outside the bounds of marriage, it destroys you and those close to you.
    2. Sexual activity for young people arrests their psychological, social and academic development. Studies show that when young people engage in premarital sex, their academic performance declines and their social relationships with family and friends deteriorate. This is because adolescents are too immature to deal with the explosive sex drive and it tends to

    Answer by RutterMama at 8:05 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • dominate their life.
    3. The majority of women cannot enjoy sex outside of the bonds of marriage. The development of a fulfilling sex life needs the security and peace of the marriage bond. Premarital sex usually takes place sneaking around in hidden places dealing with the fear of being caught, the fear of pregnancy and feelings of guilt. All these (worrisome) factors undermine pleasure in premarital sex, most especially for women.
    4. Virginity is to be given to the most important person in your life, the person you committed yourself to stay with forever in marriage. Your virginity is the most precious thing you have to give to your spouse. Once you lose it, nothing in the world can bring it back. Don't lose something so precious in a thoughtless way.
    5. Those who engage in premarital sex run a high risk of contracting one of the many venereal diseases rampant today, as well as losing their fertility. Not just AIDS,

    Answer by RutterMama at 8:06 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • Not just AIDS, but other common disfiguring diseases like herpes have no cure.
    6. Some venereal diseases have no symptoms and many couples discover many years later that they became infertile because of these diseases. Infertility experts estimate that 80% of today's infertility is due to venereal diseases contracted before they married.
    7. The best and only method that guarantees 100% against AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases is to wait for marriage to have sex and maintain fidelity in your marriage.
    8. Premarital sex breaks the 10 Commandments given by God. The 10 Commandments are given to man by God to make man happy. They are not outdated and they are not restrictive. If we follow these laws, we can create happy and prosperous lives. If we don't follow them, we will pay a heavy price in divorce, disease, abortions, illegitimate children and loneliness.

    Answer by RutterMama at 8:07 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • Modern men make a big mistake when they think that they can break these eternal laws and not suffer consequences.
    9. Premarital sex runs the risk of conceiving illegitimate children. Numerous scientific studies show that the children of single mothers suffer psychologically and are less successful socially and academically than children from intact families. Above all, children need both their father and their mother. It is wrong to risk having children who will never have their father's love, protection and care.
    10. If you date and you don't have sex, you can forget about that relationship when you stop dating. But if you have sex with those you date and then break up, the nature of sexual involvement creates strong, often unpleasant memories for your whole life. Every relationship you break up where you had intimate relations is like a mini-divorce.

    Answer by RutterMama at 8:08 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • The psychological difficulties of these mini-divorces does damage to your character. Later, when you are married and go to bed with your beloved spouse, these unpleasant memories will accompany you.

    True love waits. If a boy or girl truly loves you, they will want the best for you. They will not want you to suffer fear of disease, unwanted pregnancy and the psychological difficulties of premarital sex. They will want to experience love with you only in the very best place of all - the love nest of marriage.

    Good luck and God Bless!

    Answer by RutterMama at 8:08 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

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