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How do I get through this type of thing? Please help!!!!

I told my SO that I don't know if I love him because I was feeling distant and my hormones are crazy but I truly do love him. I can't believe I said that because his grandma just passed away and he's under alot of stress including us preparing for our daughter and I feel like I'm not doing enough for him. I'm' 28 weeks and he's told me that his mom and family always puts him down when he tries hard to do everything and keep his life together. I want to cheer him up and show him that I truly do care. I didn't know he felt this way until now and he's upset because I told him I don't love him but I quickly apologizied and said I do. What are ways I can cheer him up and make him happy. I don't want him getting depressed and dying. He feels like he has no one at times when I tell him dumb things like this.

 
penguinbabe44

Asked by penguinbabe44 at 8:27 PM on Jan. 11, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • We all need someone to believe in us admckenzie, sometimes it reminds us we are worth believing in...I tend to forget that myself so it really is a boost when someone points out the good qualities I've forgotten that I posess, sometimes it can be as simple as 'hey, that sketch you did is really good, I can sense the emotions you were trying to portray'...if I were you OP, that's what I'd do...point out qualities about him that maybe aren't that obvious, tell him what it is exactly that you value about who he is and tell him why you feel grateful he's your man.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:41 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • Just say your sorry and you get a pregnant pass! Hope it works out for you, happy birthing!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 8:29 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • Tell him it was your hormones talking, and then lay it on thick how you really feel, tell him right now you don't mean it but you are an emotional roller coaster. And then actions (after explaination) speak louder than words!!
    jsimonds220

    Answer by jsimonds220 at 8:34 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • *WARNING PREGNANCY MAKES US MAKE HORRIBLE DECISIONS* lol, I told a friend of mine a few months ago not to do anything stupid while she was preggers and what does she do? Goes and buys 2 puppies for her 2 boys lmao. There will be times while youa re pregnant that your SO will just make your toes curl, the way they smell, eat, breathe...live lol, but this too will pass!
    My DH and I have already decided that if we ever have another baby, he's going to go and stay with a friend...we don't work well together when I'm expecting lol.
    Hang in there, let him know you love him and it will all be over soon!! *hugs* wish there was a magic answer!
    Peanut_Farley

    Answer by Peanut_Farley at 8:37 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • apologize and tellhim you didnt mean anything you said and that you havent been yourself lately because your {obviously }pregnant and tell him how much you love him
    Naralie

    Answer by Naralie at 8:38 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • You know, I understand hormones raging. I understand irrational fits of emotion due to pregnancy..but to say "You get a pregnancy pass" I call Bullsh*t. Being pregnant does not give you excuse to be rude, cruel, unkind or stupid.

    OP- you need to go hold him and tell him you are terribly sorry. Explain that you are not trying to make excuses but sometimes hormones get crazy and hope he can forgive you. You will have a long while making this one up. He sounds like he is in a real vulnerable, on the edge kind of place. I wouldn't be expecting any "I'm pregnant...won't you do this for me" things for a while.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:51 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • It's not your job to make him happy. He has to find his own happiness. I realize he's hurting now and his confidence level has just gone down 100 points with what you said but he has to believe in himself before you or others can believe in him. Just tell him that pregnant women are hormonal and that it's all so confusing for you but if he sticks with you that you and he can work it all out together and grow in love.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:56 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • I'm not sure how you can get thru this. He probably feels like you only apologized because he told you how down he was and how he feels like he isn't doing anything right. Imagine how it would feel if he'd said it to you. Especially while you were dealing with the loss of someone you love.
    You can blame the pregnancy, but it's really not an excuse. On some level you meant what you said whether you realize it or not, atleast in that moment.
    All you can do is to tell him you're sorry you said it, it was a low point in the day for you, that you do love him and will spend the rest of your life trying to make sure he always knows and feels that.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:39 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

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