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Just got engaged & fiance is deployed overseas. How do you get threw the days without worrying?

I tend to think about danger ~~> then I worry about him. If we don't get to talk - I wonder what he is doing. Then he does tell me what happens on mission & I worry more. I try to keep everything on the up & up and be happy. But I have my days ( more then I want ) that I can't seem to focus on anything other then him being gone til august or so. Any suggestions or help with this would be greatly appreciated.

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Asked by cjw8ing4tony at 8:46 PM on Jan. 11, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (11)
  • Just try to remember that this is what he's trained for. There are always good and bad days on any deployment. Hopefully you will have more good days than bad but when you start feeling down think of all the good times youve had and how many more you will have. Maybe think about a vacation or activity that youre going to do when he gets home. Keep busy and enjoy the time you do have to talk to him.

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 8:49 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • It is normal to be worried. I told my DH not to tell me to many things about the bad things. I tried not to think about what he is doing over there. It is a hard thing to go threw. But you just "Suck it up and drive on".

    Answer by louise2 at 8:53 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • You don't, you will always worry, I'd worry if you didn't...worrying only shows your love and thats a good thing. Throw yourself into work, keep yourself occupied...hobbies, studies, working out etc...planning your wedding etc. Mine got through two tours in out of the military now, but now he got a new job as a civilian uxo bomb tech so he STILL works with disarming bombs which STILL is scary and dangerous, although here in america...:( Hold on mama, I know its hard but you got this, you'll make it through somehow.

    Answer by Jeda624 at 9:01 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • Oh congrats btw ;)

    Answer by Jeda624 at 9:02 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • Do the same thing you did before you got engaged to him

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:05 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • Like Aqua_Jen says, you do have to remember that this is what he is trained for. You do need to work on finding a strong support system for yourself whether it be friends, family, other military wives or women like yourself. (military women especially because they know more of what you are going through) Certain groups on CafeMom have been extremely helpful for me when my hubby is deployed. We have been through lots of them now. If you can email him frequently to let him know you are there for him. Any kind of communication you can keep between the two of you will help the both of you, whether it is letters, phone, or email, or packages.

    Answer by CoCoMom89 at 9:05 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • i am married to a cop, so in a lot of ways we share that. But, worrying will eat you alive. I know it is hard, but you have to live your life and just know that he is trained, and of course wants nothing more than to come home to his family. You say your "i love you's" and don't think twice about if he will be ok that day or the next. I will worry when given the need to. Good luck.

    Answer by xtwilightx at 9:06 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • I don't get engaged to someone in danger

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • I am the mother of 2 soldiers (my son and his wife) who have both been to Iraq & later this year they'll both be headed to Afghanistan. And then in July my 19yo son leaves for basic training and he will probably deploy sometime in 2011 (he's in communications). You don't stop worrying. heck, when my husband was in the Army he worked around helicopters and even though he never deployed there were still day to day dangers and I worried until he got home every night. Being the spouse or parent of someone in the military is not for the faint of heart!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:40 AM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • Through~ He ran through the locker room.
    Threw~ He threw the football...

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:03 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

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