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Hubby is "recovering" from being emotional/verbal abuser, but I still...

We got in an argument last night which was probably pretty normal... but I feel like I can't tell the difference between abuse and normal anymore. If he utters a swear word (even jokingly not even at me) or we fight about anything (i'm afraid to), even if its something like rice or whatever... all that happens is that the old feelings overwhelm me and I can't seem to be able to determine if he is being mean or being GOOD as far as disagreements go. I just bawled my eyes out and I told him last night that I am super sensitive and it is difficult for me to decipher the two any more. I know he has been doing better, at least as far as being insulting and stuff (i threatened to leave if he didn't change. thats fire up the butt! :]) how can i learn to get over what was and know when he is being good or if he ever reverts back to being abusive?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:27 PM on Jan. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • Being good? I don't get can have a disagreement or an argument without disrespecting the other person. That's how you know when someone says something mean or hurtful...then you are owed an apology. If he says something dergatory, hateful, or condesending then he owes you an apology. Think about it this way...if your mom, dad, sisters, pastor, friends were in the room would his behavior be acceptable? would the way he talks to you be acceptable? If the answer is no then he is out of and my husband "argue or disagree" but there is a respect factor, we are on the same team sometimes we have a different point of view but in the end we compromise. I recommend you get couples therapy to help through your communication problems with your hubby. good luck

    Answer by abbyg at 10:43 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • I agree. Get some counsoling and if he's not willing to get counsoling then he's not worth it. You don't want to bring your kids up in that kind of environment-its not good for any of you.

    Answer by Texan1993 at 11:04 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

  • First of all. I would like for you to READ YOUR QUESTION again????
    Being, over-senitive, is a sign of emotionally, verbal abuse.
    You are WELCOME to go to my PROFILE, and ask to join my group.

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 11:07 PM on Jan. 11, 2010

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