Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Dumped and Pregnate

I got involved with a man who is in the military and engaged. I found out after i fell in love with him. I have 3 kids under 10 and a single mom on a fix income. I just finsihed nursing school. i found out I was pregnante this week. He dump me and said he didn't love me and was staying with his fiancee, they are getting married 1/16/10 even though he still has sex with me. He said to tell our child he died in the war because he wants nothing to do the baby. i am torn and hurt beause now he doesn't return my calls. I am planning to keep the child regardless because I got myself in this postion but need emotional support for this pregnancy. Oh did I mention that he takes care and claims his fiancee child as his own. I am sad and dissapointed in him. Does anyone have any advice will he turn around after the baby is born or men like this just scum for the rest of thier lives? Help any advice is apperciated!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:06 AM on Jan. 12, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • What she said!!!! Do the other girl a favor & let her know about him BEFORE the wedding (although I imagine she'll be in denial enough to think awe...he chose me ain't that sweet,he must really love me & not wise enough to KNOW it's just a matter of time before he's unfaithful again) Thank him for sparing you the long suffering this other women has the privilage to go thru cause he chose her woooo....!!! Then let him know you will be requesting a paternity test & then you will grant him his request of you are dead to me & this child , & his childsupport payments (that are guranteed, because he is military) can be like a social security check for YOUR baby. You will be better off with out some one like him, but he played & now will pay.
    meme4x

    Answer by meme4x at 12:26 AM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • sorry i dont think there is much hope for him coming back to you unless he and his fiancee break up. the good news is that he IS in the military and whether or not he wants something to do with the baby, his paycheck will always be involved!! im a little mean so i would make sure that he and his girlfriend know what is coming in a few months and go ahead and agree to a paternity test and ask him how he likes that
    secondtyme520

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 12:09 AM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • I am so sorry for your situation. After the baby is born, file for a parternity test to prove that the child is his. Although you know he is the father, you'll have to prove it to him. Then take him to court for child support. He made this baby and he needs to step up and do the right thing for his child. As for him, do not sleep with him any more. If it were me, I would have a discussion with his future wife. She should know the "real" man she is marrying. I am not saying to be vindictive about the situation, but once you file for a paternity test, she is going to find out. It is either now or later in her situation. At least let her make a choise now if she wants to marry him.

    sonnalynn

    Answer by sonnalynn at 12:13 AM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • He's in the military so you need to call him and leave a message telling him that if he doesn't set up a child support payment you will be serving him with papers and the military will take it out of his check for you. You should also tell his fiancee because she has a right to know what kind of husband she is marrying, honestly he was with her and couldn't stay faithful he's going to bring some disease back from a foreign port and give it to her if she isn't warned. I'm sorry and I know it hurts your heart but he's probably not going to come back to you, the best you can hope for is to get what you deserve in the form of child support.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:16 AM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • Weather it's right or wrong if someone did that to me I would go and tell there fiance, I would be pissed.

    I so agree with anon 12:16 I would so do that
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 12:21 AM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • Contact the military, also once it's proved he is the father you get a portion or I should say your baby gets portion of his social security when or if he dies...also if proven the baby is his, that baby will get tri-care full coverage medical insurance..aside from child support which as another lady mentioned prior to my answer which the military will take from his pay and allot it to you. Do that, you could so screw up his world in other ways if you wanted ...but do this stuff (I mentioned) for your child.
    Jeda624

    Answer by Jeda624 at 2:22 AM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • He's in the military! Get a court-ordered blood test and you're set. The child support will come out of his check and to you before he even recieves it.

    And what the hell are you doing with a man who is already engaged? Women these days are just plain stupid.
    SpiritedTigress

    Answer by SpiritedTigress at 3:06 AM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • Get child support. ;)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:42 AM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • You stayed with him after learning he was engaged? He treats you like trash because you stayed. He may or may not be interested in your child when it gets older but you can forget about him caring about you. Men do not value easy women.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:40 AM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • Tell his girlfriend because once they get married her child will cut into the amount of financial support you would be entitled to receive.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:46 AM on Jan. 12, 2010

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN