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What to do when a teen mother wants to quit school....

My daughter turned 17 this past fall. She had a baby in 2 months prior to her birthday. During christmas vacation she again said she was not going to continue to go to school. She wants to get her diploma on-line or her GED. Her going to school has been a huge fight for at least the last 3 or 4 years. She has gone as far as getting her grandmother to cover for her when I worked early mornings. Now, I am not working at the time and have basicly no control over what is going on. If I say anything to her I am yelled at or blatantly ignored. How do I get this resolved to where everyone is getting what they need, she needs her education and i would like a better relationship with her and my mother......

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:16 AM on Jan. 12, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (30)
  • I'm sorry to say, but it sounds like your relationship with your DD went south somewhere over the last 17 yeras, and it is going to be VERY difficult for you to magically fix it..

    As for her going to school, what is wrong with her finishing online?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:22 AM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • She can not drop out untill she is 18. So tell her that when she turns 18 she can drop out and get her GED if she would rather do that. But untill then she will continue going to school.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:23 AM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • First you are legally obligated to take care of your daughter tell she is 18. You know that right? Have you went and talked to the school about this, see if they can help? If she refuses to go back to school, you should stop doing all the extra stuff you do for her. If she has a cell phone take it or stop the service. If she has a computer, take it away. Stop giving her extra money. Buy her what her and the baby need but nothing else. Tell her to go get a job and giving you money foe living there.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 10:40 AM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • First... Yes, she CAN drop out at 16. Just had to clear up that misconception.

    Now... Sit her down and give her a list of what she WILL be paying if she quits school. Tell her... "You don't go to school, then you get a job. PERIOD! I will not have you sitting around on your ass all day doing nothing." Then, when she gets a job make her pay. Not a lot. But enough to make her understand that life's not all shits and giggles. You can put the money in a savings account to give to her at a later date, if you like. I know that if my kids live with me after they finish college, they'll be expected to pay something.

    You have to make her understand that squirting out a kid does not mean she knows everything she needs to know.
    TinaN64

    Answer by TinaN64 at 10:43 AM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • Wow, for one your daughter is a total brat who doesn't deserve her baby. When you become the parent it no longer matters what your needs are really. What he baby's needs are is what counts. That baby needs her to graduate and have a career. If she wants to drop out of HS and supposedly do things online i have news, she's not going to do that either. She sounds awfully immature to be making any kind of decision about her own life. She may have a say about her child, but she is still YOUR child and YOU have the say as to if she is in school or not. Quite honestly if i were in your position i would threaten taking her to court and getting custody of your grandchild, because if she isn't in school then she isn't providing anything for the baby. She sounds careless and i'm sorry that's just sickening. I got pregnant at 17 and i'm going to school and taking care of my son full time. Tell her to suck it up and grow up.
    LogansMama09

    Answer by LogansMama09 at 11:09 AM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • HELLOOOOO FOLKS!!! She does NOT have a "say" in whether her daughter quits school or not. At least not in any state I know of. At age 16 they can quit and parents have no say in the issue.
    TinaN64

    Answer by TinaN64 at 11:52 AM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • In most states, she can legally drop out of school at 16. Let her, but make her understand that she gets a fulltime job or moves out with no help from you. It also sounds like this has been an issue for years and not something new. FInd out why she wants to drop out and get her GED. I would encourage her to get the GED and then go to a community college to get a degree so she can find a decent job and support her child and herself.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:13 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • Does she have her driver's license? Some states have it where the parent can take the child's license and return it to the DMV and the child can't get it back until the parent says or they turn 18. It doesn't have to be for diving issues either. It can be grades, home issues, attitude, ect.. You could use it as a threat to keep her in school and maybe get grades up and by the time shes 18 maybe she will want to finish. You can call your local DMV or check on line maybe. I had never heard of it until my BIL got his last year and his grades improved.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • looks like its time to get strict. First off she has a baby and now she's got to learn to be responsible. So take every last thing away from her that she loves, internet, phone, music....everything. If she's living in YOUR home then she MUST respect what YOU say. If she don't want to finish school then she'll have to get a job and find daycare and start paying bills. I'll be damned if my mother wouldnt have kicked me out the moment she found out I was pregnant. This girl is lucky.
    LynnB1

    Answer by LynnB1 at 3:00 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • Tell her this or let her read it- I worked with teen moms for 3 years and honey YOU ARE DAMNED LUCKY TO HAVE A MOTHER WHO WANTS YOU TO STAY IN SCHOOL! So many of the teen moms I worked with were kicked out of the house the minute their parents found out they were pregnant and told by their parents that they should just quit school because there was no point in graduating because they would never amount to anything. It sounds like your mother is trying to help you and give you support to finish school TAKE THE HELP!
    Mom talk to her about why she doesn't want to go to school, is there a school for parenting teens in your area? She may feel more comfortable with others in a similar position. Has school always been hard for her? Sometimes a GED is a good option, but I would give her a deadline for getting that ball rolling and have her get a job if she is not in school.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:27 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

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