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when to draw the line. what about love

i left my husband about a month.5 ago, he quit his job and everything was going down hill, hes on probation and has to go to rehab and we ave a 8 month old daughter together. hes telling me things cant change over night. but how long is it going to take, and how long am i going to have to wait. hes not even making an attempt to change and fix our family the "right" way. i want to just say fk it and let go. but its so hard cuz i love him. andi know i cant keep lettin him hurt me. and i know i need to just let go. but i want to b there for him and help him change. as u can see my emotions are all boggled. i just dont know what to do. my mom says that he doesnt want to change and that he would have already if he loved me and his daughter enough. and i agree. just i just cant let go cuz of the love. ladys i need help

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liltexchick

Asked by liltexchick at 3:35 PM on Jan. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • There's no such thing as a time line here.

    And it may be he WANTS to change but doesn't know how.

    Counseling, STAT. Go yourself if he won't go with you.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:50 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • You Main concern is providing a good life for your daughter.

    He is grown, he has made his own choices and you cannot change his heart or his mind. Even if he wants to do better, actions speak louder than words. I am speaking from experience here - move on and do not look back. Take care of your baby. Good luck!
    chefronswife

    Answer by chefronswife at 3:51 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • i want to. i really do. i just cant bare with him having some one else and just totaly abandoning me and his daughter, his daughter above all. how could some one just b so cold hearted and do that to an innocent baby who did not ask to b here and get treated like that. i just need strenght and lack it when it comes to having to stop loving him and move on.
    liltexchick

    Answer by liltexchick at 3:58 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • He may change....he may not.......nothing you do or say can MAKE him change. It is totally up to him. All you can do is focus on you and your baby. Think about ways you can make your future better for your child. Plan to raise this child on your on, you may or may not have to, but you need to be able to if you have to. Maybe go back to school, get some sort of degree. Something to ensure you can support yourself and your child. You can continue to love him, but you can't be with him right now. Put those feelings away, focus on the love for your child. GL
    robyann

    Answer by robyann at 4:02 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • I know you are hurting - things will get better. There will be someone out there that will love and respect you and your daughter. As far as caring for her - child support may be the most you ever get out of him. I agree with robyann - focus on your baby, she needs all of your love!!
    HUgs!
    chefronswife

    Answer by chefronswife at 4:08 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • i am doing just that, i got me a job. not a great job. but a job. and i just enrolled in college today. im still waiting for a few things to go threw and then i will b off to a new start for me and my daughter. i need a hypnosis!
    liltexchick

    Answer by liltexchick at 4:09 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

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