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My FIL would rather watch football than watch his grandkids!

My FIL makes no effort to watch his grandkids and I'm sooo frustrated! He lives alone, my MIL passed away. When he sees my boys he tells them he wants to have them over night one night...hasn't happened and it's been months! Why? Cause he rather golf, go to the movies ALONE, watch football at a friends house! This weekend we could of really used him to have the boys over but he made up an excuse he's going to a friends to watch football! I feel like he doesn't like my kids! I told my DH to handle it because I'm going to tell him like it is the next time he makes broken promises to my kids! This is my FIL only downfall for me...I do love him as a person and he is a great FIL!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:35 PM on Jan. 12, 2010 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • He doesn't have to watch your kids. He raised his. Now he's old and if he wants wants to enjoy himself without screaming kids, leave him alone. Watch your own kids or get a sitter, you act like he's obligated. They're your kids, not his.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:39 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • It isnt his place to watch your kids. Get over it.
    Mrs.Owen86

    Answer by Mrs.Owen86 at 3:40 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • There are grandparents who are like that. My MIL is that way too.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:42 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • I'd rather watch football too
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:43 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • Sounds like a lot of Grandparents. If you does keep saying he will have them over sometime to them. Talk to him about not to say that since it disappoints the kids when he says it and never does.
    Raeann11

    Answer by Raeann11 at 3:43 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • He may want to have them over but he may also feel that he is not equipped to care for them all on his own. That would certainly be understandable, depending on the ages of your children. Also, depending on how long it's been since his wife died, he may really need adult companionship more than he needs to be responsible for children. If this is his only "bad trait," I think you should cut him some slack and give him some time. The older generation of men was not nearly so much into child rearing as the more modern generation, so maybe you just shouldn't expect so much of him. Also, remember please that he is not obligated to watch your children just because he is their grandfather. If he senses that you are demanding that of him, that in itself could be a big reason why he has chosen not to do it. Nobody likes to feel that their services are owed.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:44 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • I'm not demanding he watch my kids...I'm demanding he spend time with them like Grandma's and Grandpa's do! I was just saying I needed a sitter this weekend and he made up this excuse! My kids are 7 and 10...not creaming kids. They would love to go to dinner with him and watch a footballwith him!
    Ps...Mrs.Owen You must be having a bad day...what's gotten into you latey? So quick to bash the ANON again!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:46 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • I am 48 and I have four grown kids and all of them have kids of their own. I was open with them about getting the girls on birth control told my son to always use a condom and even brought some home. I did what I was supposed to do. My kids, being thoroughly educated in procreation, went ahead and had kids at young ages. Do I babysit? No. I raised my kids for 25 years, I went 10 years without having a social life, I did what I was supposed to do and raised my children. My mother passed away when I was 19 before I had kids and I didn't know my father so there was no one to help me. So now it is my kids' turn to raise their children not mine. My kids are finally out of the house and now I have ME time, to sit and do nothing, go shopping, go to dinner, go camping, read a book, play on the computer, whatever I want to do without having children interrupt me. Yes, I love my grandkids with all my heart but they are not my children
    TarLion

    Answer by TarLion at 3:49 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • As I said, he is not obligated to do ANYTHING with your kids. If you need a sitter pay one and stop whining. And how do you know he made up an excuse? Maybe he did have something else to do. Should he rearrange his calendar to suit yours? And if he did make up the excuse, that should tell you that he doesn't want to be bothered so you should make alternate arrangements anyway.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:50 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • I agree with previous people. People who are done raising there own kids do not want to keep watching little ones. Leave him alone and let him enjoy his retirement or whatever. As long as he LOVES his grand children and still gives them attention and love it should not matter. Your the mother, you should be watching your own kids and if you want a day alone find someone who would like to watch them not a older person
    aeroslove

    Answer by aeroslove at 3:51 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

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