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I feel stupid for this reaction...am I overreacting?

Every time I try to initiate sex with my boyfriend, I get no reaction. He claims it's because he's super tired, stressed, and depressed from work. That alone has been hurting my feelings. But now, tonight, he's looking at a cell phone and he says to me, "Excuse me while I hump this picture." I am feeling super hurt by this. I just feel like he's totally not into me, and that that statement just proves it. Am I being overly sensitive or should I tell him this?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:16 PM on Jan. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I think your just feeling neglected and lonely. His excuses sound like pretty valid ones unless he's only working like 20hrs a week. I would definitely bring it up but in a nice and loving way so he doesn't feel defensive and attacked. Then maybe try something different than just the usual way you go at it. Change it up a bit, it may be just what you need. Just don't jump to conclusions unless he gives you a reason to. Good luck!
    Proudmom_28

    Answer by Proudmom_28 at 6:19 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • Tell him, by all means.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 6:20 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • What a D***!! Sorry but if I was you I would give him the biggest B***h slap ever. Talk to him and tell him he is hurting you. My old man was like that for awhile. He was always busy wanking it to porn mags and vids but always declined me. Usually only minutes after being declined he was on the computer with porn pulled up. I gfinally got the nerve to talk to him about it. He apologized and told me he had no idea he was hurting me and that it was just a habit he has had since he was younger and that doing it by himself was faster and less tiring. But after we talked he never really watches or looks at that shit anymore and our sex life is AMAZING!!! Just tell him girl, tell him how it is and if he is still a d*** then just stop giving it to him period he will eventually get the point. Good Luck!!
    Peekalou

    Answer by Peekalou at 6:22 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • hunny my bf works full time we have an infant daughter and full time student and he always is up for sex no matter how tired he is.. something is up if yours isnt, not trying to bag but do some investigating, was it a pic of you on the phone?
    xxSummaxx13

    Answer by xxSummaxx13 at 6:25 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • OP here...Sorry...let me clarify...he was looking at a picture of a cell phone. Not porn, not another woman. If that had been the case, I wouldn't be here, I'd be dumping him. I actually am almost more hurt that it's a fricking inanimate object that he's saying that about, when he won't have sex with me. And I know he's not cheating. He has no time, and no ability. And no, I'm not in denial. I literally know where he is every second of the day (as he does me), and I know he's not cheating. I know he's tired from work and all, and I was figuring out how to deal with it. But this comment just totally hurt my feelings.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:28 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • xxSummaxx13 is right you really need to do some investigating. You never know what you might find. Chech his phone and check your internet history to see where he has been going. It is very unusual for a man to turn down sex.
    Peekalou

    Answer by Peekalou at 6:29 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • Oh ok I see. How bout you just surprise him. Get him hard when he's asleep and go at it. He prolly will wake up in the middle and go with it and heck if thats the only way to get some then go for it. I'm sure he won't complain, LOL!!
    Peekalou

    Answer by Peekalou at 6:30 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • What type of pictures is he looking at to get that comment? He clearly still has a turn on, yet he's not being turned on by you. I think he's making excuses. If he reacts that way to a picture, yet not to his girlfriend, that's a problem. I'd see it as one at least. Talk to him.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 6:49 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • My husband is 44 years old and works 60 hours a week (12 hour shifts) at a manual labor job, 3rd shift. The man is never too tired for sex. Sometimes I wish he was. I don't think it's normal for a young man to not be interested. Talk to him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:20 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • Heck yah I'd tell him. I would also tell him to take his cell phone and get the heck out until he wanted a REAL woman and wanted to treat you as such.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:41 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

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