Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do I have a reason to think he's cheating?

My husband is in the military and is gone 2-3 weeks out of the month for the past year. I've always trusted him being gone all the time and going overseas and not cheating on me. But for the past yr he's been drinking alot. Especially when he's overseas with his crew members. Some of these crew members are females with not so great reputations. But since my husbands drinking has gotten worse lately he's been acting erratic. Doing and saying mean things he doesn't remember and we've had a few bad incidents. Oh and I forgot to mention I'm 6months pregnant and his sex drive with me has been pretty stale. He got really drunk on Dec 26th at a friends going away party and we got into a fight. He tried to drive his truck drunk and I took the keys from him then he grabbed me and roughly man handled me trying to get his truck keys from me. He didn't remember much of it the next day. Well, he apologized and said he would quit drinking..

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:07 PM on Jan. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I would be worried about the excessive drinking, it sounds like he is making a bad habit out of it and needs some help!! As far as cheating goes I DO beleive that people that get that drunk do have a tendency to cheat, especially since he is away so often. You need to watch the signs to see if he is cheating, like you said wanting it less and less with you it could be just because your pregnant or there could be more to it, just keep a close eye when possible. But it sounds like he needs some help with the drinking, and if he can cut the drinking out he would be thinking in the right frame of mind again, then you wouldn't have to worry about the cheating, it looks like a long talk is in order in this situation. Good Luck.

    Answer by jsimonds220 at 8:12 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • He turned me down for sex on Dec 28th. Then he left for his mission on Dec 29th. On New yrs eve he called me from Spain and said he was feeling sick from a cold and probly going to bed early. Spoke to him Jan1st and he said he felt like hell because his crew members convinced him to go out drinking(On New Yrs Eve in Spain, while I'm home 6months prego, sick with a cold, and lonely), and that a female crew member got sooooo drunk that him and another crew member had to carry her back to her hotel room. So between him breaking his promise about not drinking, then getting drunk in Spain(Total Party Place) and carrying a female back to her room... Am I just being hormonal and paranoid that he's possibly cheated on me and can't be trusted? Or is it total women's intuition?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:13 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • I honestly don't think you are being paranoid at all, there are some things that we do overreact to while pregnant (mind you I am 40.1 wks pregnant right now) but this would not be one of them in my opinion. I don't want to make you worry more than you already are, but I would be concerned of this situation if I were you. You need to have him put himself in your shoes, what if you were calling him from a party town and telling him you were helping a drunk guy back to his room how would that make him feel. I bet he wouldn't be happy not one bit about it. It's a tough call, because even if he was cheating is he the type to suck it up and be a man and tell you or is he the denial type, so like I said tough call. But I would talk to him face to face not over the phone because since you probably know him well, you should be able to tell by the way he reacts to the topic whether or not he is telling the truth or acting guilty.

    Answer by jsimonds220 at 8:20 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • If he were cheating with her he would not have told you about her. He's probably just being a bad boy by drinking too much

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:22 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • men that drink heavily or smoke don't womanize or so the saying goes, u shd really try and make him quite drinking, since its making him to be paranoid and to misbehave., but dnt worry 2 much cos of ur condition.

    Answer by joysweet at 9:41 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • navy?
    Fraternizing comes with big penalties doubt he is doing anything with another female crew member, Perhaps he is depressed with being away and the new baby on the way, men don't express themselves like we do otherwise we'd have a cafedad with them griping about us lol.
    Sometimes men just don't know how to handle change and with buddies ...peer pressure well just ASK him what is going on otherwise speculating is just going to upset you and that can't be good for the baby

    Answer by vikings_beauty at 9:47 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

  • I think it is a combo of 2 things being married to an ex-navy man, I do know when they get together all hell breaks loose, but when I was PG with dear daughter it escalated alot, he never cheated just went out and got wasted with his buds, alas he did grow up,,,,but I stopped badgering and started leaving or just going to bed, I know the hormones make you nutty, but the first time he came home and I was gone, ohhhh some lessons were learned that day!! HE will grow up, and I don't think he would have been honest about the going out if he had anything to hide,, good luck momma!

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:00 PM on Jan. 12, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.