anal suppositories...? sorry tmi

I just found out that I have an anal fissure and was given anal suppositories. I've never used them before, stupid and kind of gross question but the suppositories don't have an applicator...so I just push it put there, right? and I've had to kind of use my muscles to get it to go up inside and stay in place...is that what I'm supposed to do? can those things mess you up? It makes me uncomfortable lolll

oh, and the medication numbs me up and now i'm afraid to use the restroom because the numb sensation makes me feel as though my insides are going to fall out...is it normal to feel that way? it doesn't hurt just feels strange I guess.

So sorry, this is way way too embarassing to ask in person.