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What advice would you give to other women?

I see post after post about women in unhappy situations with men, with custody issues, and just sad situations. If you're in a better place, what advice would you give other (younger?) women?

I'm 38. I've been happily married for over 16 years and my suggestion is to be sure of the man you're with. Don't sleep with him just 'cause you have an "itch". I got married AFTER I finished college, THEN had sex for the first time on our honeymoon. Then I worked UNTIL I could afford to stay home with kids. Avoided many, many problems that way.

What helpful suggestions do you have for other women?


Asked by MonicaE521 at 12:04 AM on Jan. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Level 10 (405 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • All she was trying to say is that if you have a plan and stick to it, then there won't be mistakes that you might regret later...and yes sometimes you do have to go through a lot of bad times in order to be truly happy also. And why should anyone get offended by what she said in the first place? I was surprised by some comments.Don't take everything so personal people.

    Answer by ek2010 at 7:08 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Huh? I don't exactly get what you are going with this.

    Answer by jsimonds220 at 12:09 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Oops, I thought I answered but my answer was erased instead of posted. Anyhow, the gist of what I was saying is - go to therapy or engage in activities that increase self-esteem and empowerment. Many women just aren't aware of their personal power and self-worth. This advice is best used as a preventative measure.

    Answer by preggoandfat at 12:12 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • I had a baby BEFORE I finished college. I married an ASSHOLE 7 years and 2 children into our family. I had slept with SEVERAL people before I married.

    I am now divorced, and VERY happy with the way my life turned out. Your formula doesn't work for EVERYONE.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • LOL~! Thank you anon! Yes her formula does NOT work for everyone...I'm crackin up...step down from your pedestal miss sanctimonious self righteous know it all there are MANY PATHS THAT LEAD TO HAPPINESS!! Seriously..get over yourself!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • I kinda agree with annon. Sometimes you have to go through hard stuff before you are truly happy. some things can't be avoided. Sometimes you get it right the first time, sometimes it takes a few, Take me and my older sis for example, She got pregnant with her bf and she married him cause she thought it was the right thing to do. Well almost ten years and 3 kids later, she finally divorced him,(he is a crazy bipolar) she wanted to be happy. Now she is engaged to the most awesome person who loves her kids and adores and takes care of her. She is so happy now. Me, I waited to make love after I was married, and 4 yrs of dating and 2 of college, and I am still happily married with 3 kids. Who is happier? The one with a little life experience and is steadily happy in her marriage, (me) or the one who has had to go to hell and back to find her soul mate, and has tons of life experiences, ( my sis)? I say, You choose your happiness.

    Answer by sandysuebee at 1:32 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Monica, obviously you grew up with self esteem and valued yourself. Most women don't have that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Don't sleep with a man who you wouldn't trust around a baby. Don't have sex with a men you'd describe as a drunken asshole. Don't have sex with a man you'd describe as an addict, felon or loser.


    Answer by Avarah at 2:21 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Marry a man that you have a deep friendship bond with. Love will always be there even as time and life changes come and go. If you have that friendship base, you will always be able to get through the storms in life.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • before you get involved sexually with a man, discuss birthcontrol and what you will do if it fails; if you can't agree, don't do it!

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:47 AM on Jan. 13, 2010