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I am really sad any advice?

Earlier today, my DD (18 months) was just irritating me because she wouldn't go to sleep. I was tired and hungry..I just had jaw surgery so I'm wired shut. My face is swollen and sore and she kept smacking my face thinking it was a game. I got irritated and yelled at her and smacked her hand. I felt sooo terrible that I started crying too :( I really REALLY hate yelling at my little baby girl. I know that it is not helping her self esteem and I really don't want her to be scared of me. What do I do? I want to do other things to help her...not yell at her. It just really broke my heart today to smack her hand and see her cry like that. I like yelled in her face. :( *tears*

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:57 AM on Jan. 13, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (8)
  • You know it sounds like to me that you lost control and i would just watch yourself from now on. We aren't perfect so things will happen and you will regret some things.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • I know :( I just feel like I yell at her a lot. She's a firecracker!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:09 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • I know the feeling, not the surgery but the yelling at and feeling terrible. Don't dwell on it. You made a mistake. ALL moms make mistakes. I would apologize and let her know you love her. What else can you do? Beating yourself up will not change what happened. Just try to do better next time, and give yourself a break, I mean you just had JAW SURGERY for heavens sakes! Also Children are very forgiving, and she probably already forgot and forgave.
    sandysuebee

    Answer by sandysuebee at 2:11 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Aww thank you sandysuebee...that was sweet. Yes I gave her many hugs and kisses after that! And she gave me some back so I guess it's okay haha. I will definitely try to do better next time. Thank you!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:23 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Don't worry, it sounds like you are just having a really rough time right now. Don't beat yourself up over a bad day. Yes, you can be sorry for smacking her hand but its not like you smacked her in the face. She needs to learn that she can't hit people just give her lots of hugs and kisses and tell her your sorry and that you love her and next time she does slap you grab her hand and put it in her lap and tell her no! Redirect her focus on something else.

    Texan1993

    Answer by Texan1993 at 2:27 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • You did not hurt her, and I think spanking is the most effective form of discipline. I am old school (63 years old) and I am of the generation when spanking a child was considered the way to handle meanness and rebellion and disrespect. It works. I read over and over again how time outs don't work, taking things away doesn't work, redirection doesn't work. Spanking works and it is far less harmful than yelling or allowing a child to get away with bad behavior. If you will tell her once what you want and then spank her consistently when she doesn't obey, you will seldom have to use it because she will not like the sensation of a stinging butt. It makes for delightful peace and tranquility in the home.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:50 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • OH mama... We all loose it at times and yell at our miracle babies. She won't be afraid of you because you yelled at her a time or two.
    I am in agreement with NannyB. - spanking is VERY effective. If she keeps hitting your face, you are right to slap her hand. But the key is to make sure it stings a little and she doesn't think it is a game. She needs to know that there are consequences for her bad behavior. Feel free to PM me for specific advice.
    RutterMama

    Answer by RutterMama at 10:59 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • oH mommy... I have SO been there. especially at this age. my son is just 2 but that was a hard phase. I lost it and felt just as bad because I never wanted to yell the way I yelled at my son.. he's also a firecracker so believe me, I know what you are talking about.. hang in there... the mommy guilt is something MOST of us all get almost every time we have to discipline, it does get a bit easier though.
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 12:40 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

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