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Is it possible for a boy to be equally active and successful in music and sports in HS?

My DD, who is in high school, says her brother, 11, will have to choose between band (trumpet player) and sports (soccer and baseball player) when he gets to high school because these 2 groups are mutually exclusive...in other words the sports crowd won't accept a "band geek" in their midst~they won't fully accept him if he's serious about music, and the "band geek" crowd won't really accept him if he's serious about sports (maybe a bit less so there). I can see what she means, but want to encourage my son to stay in both areas because he has lots of potential in both. It makes me sad to think that he may have to drop one for the other. Does anyone have a child who does both successfully in HS?

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dflygirl7

Asked by dflygirl7 at 7:25 AM on Jan. 13, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 12 (751 Credits)
Answers (28)
  • Your daughter is correct. Besides sports takes up A LOT of times as band does too. He will have to pick one or the other, I would suggest he picks what he is best at and enjoys most. Sad this is, but it is life in high school.
    ronjwake

    Answer by ronjwake at 7:41 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • In my HS, it wasn't a matter of one crowd not accepting the other, but rather, both having such full schedules for that one activity, there was no way to squeeze in the other. We had a few boys try to play football and march in the band, but then you can't wear two uniforms at the game. Since he is only 11, he has a few years to decide which one he likes best.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 8:19 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • my son's best friend plays the tuba and is a linebacker. they let him march at halftime in his football uniform. it will all depend on the school environment your kids are involved in and how they handle it. it can be done. GL
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 8:54 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • In my school it wasn't possible to be in band and a sport because they all practiced the last period of the day. A cheerleader or dancer couldn't play sports that interfered in their practice schedule or travel events, just as a band member couldn't play sports that interfered with their band schedule. In smaller schools it might be possible but I went to a large high school that was always in the top ratings for sports and band.

    The crowd never mattered as we had a wide variety of friends that we had gone to school with since elementary. The problem was there was no actual way to play a sport and be in band or any other extra curricular activity.
    momtotrips

    Answer by momtotrips at 9:39 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • I did it in high school. It is hard but can be done. As long as practice times are at different times then there is no problem. Of course there will be some who are unwilling to be friends with band geeks (or sport players) but not all of them are like that.
    purpleducky

    Answer by purpleducky at 9:39 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • It depends on the school. My HS was a larger school and many band/ sports schedules overlapped... keep in mind the marching band is usually only in the fall. He could choose a spring sport and be fine. At a smaller high school it's usually a little easier to do both, because they need the kids in as much stuff as possible. As a COMPLETE music geek, we had plenty of people that did sports too. The sports kids may tease him, but if he wants to do both, teach him to ignore it, and the kids will get used to it. Your DD is speaking from a HS perspective rather than an adult who can look back and realize things were not as they seemed all the time. By the way, many colleges like well rounded kids like this, and it gives him double opportunity for scholarships!
    musichollie

    Answer by musichollie at 9:39 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • depends on where you live and what values the children at that school have been taught
    my 14 freshmen plays in her high school band and also does sports
    she is also good friends with smart kid, emo kids, gay kids, etc....
    really just depends on the school struction and the values
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 9:43 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • I think its possible to be active and successful in both. My son (hes 24 now) was in band and sports all thru HS. He too, was a trumpet player.
    He loved band, was in marching band, jazz band and concert band. He also played sports...football, basketball and track and was Varsity in all 3. I think it makes for a very well rounded person.
    As far as cliques go...he was friends with anyone and everyone...not just a certain group.
    auntietotty

    Answer by auntietotty at 10:01 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • in my hs it seemed to be true either you were in band or a sport, drama seemed to be the middle ground, you could always look at either having him do the music or sport part out of the hs , you could look around your town for sports or a music teacher, that way he does not have to give up either, at a young age they are still figuring out what they like/love to do, i do not think they should be asked to give it up when they are still learning to see if they like/love it or not B)
    momofmmdotcom

    Answer by momofmmdotcom at 10:06 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • It is possible. The Captain of our football team was an amazing musician, and made it to districts every year in HS, while leading the team to State. It confused the hell out of the other team when he took his helmet off, walked to the 50 yard line and sang the National Anthem.

    He might have a scheduling issue with Soccer, but he could easily do Baseball and Marching Band.
    gypsysmiles

    Answer by gypsysmiles at 10:26 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

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