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Is what I did considered cheating??

My husband of a year and a half has never gotten over something I did before we even went on our first date!
He is a Marine and when he was in mos school...we started talking online! We went to middle and high school together, but found eachother on myspace and starting talking for a couple months and we planned to go on a date when he came home for his Christmas leave. The night before our first date, I went to hang out with one of my old guy friends and we meant nothing b/c we didn't have any feelings for eachother...but I was thinking about Matt (my husband) the whole time! I didn't think it was a big deal b/c we hadn't even gone on our date yet..and I didn't think it would work out between us anyway..
Well, it did and we fell in love! After a few months of dating I opened up to him and told him....
We ended up getting married and we have a little boy!
Did I cheat? He says I did :(


Asked by Anonymous at 8:50 AM on Jan. 13, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • No you did not...he has to let it go now that you are married and have a family it is him that has the problem.
    I guess in his eyes he never did anything to you even if you'll never know if he did, he expected the same respect as well. If this marriage is going to work out you need to somehow reassure him that he is number one in your life...GL

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 8:56 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • no, you can't cheat on someone you haven't committed yourself to.

    Answer by thehairnazi at 8:57 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • No and this is why I advise women to NOT confess stuff like that. That was your business and not his so there was no need for a confession. You kissed and he is freaking out? Ask him how many woman he's kissed? Good grief, he's being silly but I think this might be a sign he has some serious issues. Please be careful. (I'm being a smart alec now but are you allowed to look at or talk to men? Where does he draw the line?)

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:05 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • no you didn't cheat. You guys were not in a realtionship up till that point.

    Answer by pagirl71 at 9:11 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Ok here is my thought, you knew you were going on a date and there was a possibility that date could go somewhere great, and you kissed somebody else anyways. It isnt exactly cheating but it can come close you knew you were going on a date. He feels like you didn't have true faith and love for him since you were talking and had a history. He does need to let it go though because it is in the past and obviously he won and has you forever.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 9:12 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • No, you didn't cheat. And if I were you, I would look for the real reason why this bothers him so much. Maybe he's been hurt before? Maybe he's just basically insecure? Try to understand that his lack of trust has far deeper roots than anything you did before you really even knew him. Remember that part of marriage is helping our mates get rid of all the junk that they brought with them. It's not at all about you. It is all about some deeply rooted insecurity that he has, and you have the ability to help him get over whatever it is. So look at it as a good thing and an opportunity for you to encourage your husband and help him be a better person and a better husband.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:15 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • He feels like I didn't really give him a chance b/c I felt like it probably wouldn't go anywhere. I had a lot of self confidence problems back then and I thought once he hung out with me he wouldn't like me...and I also felt like he might have hung out with other girls too and I didn't want to be hurt b/c I had been hurt so many times in my past. After I told him, and saw how hurt he was...I felt horrible. I had no idea what a great guy I had and could have lost. I thought he had forgiven me and put it in the past..I mean he proposed to me and we got married! But every now and then he will bring it up and he says how it still hurts him...
    He is not really controlling or anything, I mean I have guy friends that I talk to sometimes online..but I chose not to keep in touch with old guys friends who used to like me. I try everyday to reassure him how much he means to me and how much I love him

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:21 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • OMG you did NOT cheat. For a marine he is being a whiney little girl. Tell him to buck up and get over it! I would laugh my husband in the face if he acted that way

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 9:26 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Sense you and your DH were not in a committed relationship at the time. I say No, you did not cheat.


    Answer by louise2 at 10:19 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • No, I would not call that cheating as you and your hubby were not in a committed relationship at the time of the kiss. I think your hubby needs to let it go- it happened before you started dating- it i was one kiss, it is over, done with and not important. Afterall he is the one who married you and has your love--- that is what is important!

    Answer by MizLee at 12:07 PM on Jan. 13, 2010