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Do you expect more from your kids than your mom and dad did? Or are you easier on them?

I know that in most areas of our family life I expect about the same as my parents...they are expected to work hard, keep their rooms clean, get good grades, tell the truth, and stuff. But I feel like I'm easier on my kids than my parent's were on me because we do EVERYTHING together and I try to make things fun and I always encourage and tell them I love them. Whereas my parents were very "cold" about everything. EVERYTHING was "because I say so". We were NEVER allowed to ask a question or have anything explained to us. If we ever wanted to know the "why" of something, we were told that we were completely out of line and in rebellion and it was complete dis-respect to authority to question anything.
What are your thoughts?

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TimandMely4ever

Asked by TimandMely4ever at 9:30 AM on Jan. 13, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 14 (1,728 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • i have a different parenting style. My mom didnt do anything but say "im gonna tell your daddy"...and when my dad would come home all he would do is scream , cuss, and spank us. I would never be anything like my dad. I expect alot of my son but i dont have to abuse him to get him to behave
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:36 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • I am tougher on my son then my parents were me. I see what goes on with other teenagers and I simply will not let my son throw his life away to drug,drinking or sex. His friends come to our home on the weekends, he does not go to their homes. (But his friends also like being at our home because they like having a parent there to talk to also) he is not allowed to go to parties as some of the other teens do. When he doesn't get at least a 90% on his grades he gets asked why he didn't, I am willing to let him miss 10% because he wasn't paying attention but no more then that in class.
    I am an old school parent, and that is just the way it is. My house my rules and he knows better then to complain about it because this hen rules the roost around here!
    ronjwake

    Answer by ronjwake at 9:38 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Wow, It's hard to answer this because it's going to sound weird. I'm both harder and easier on my kids. My kids are expected to pick up their messes, they are expected to dress themselves (except the baby), they are expected to get their own snacks if I'm busy, and they are expected to help me and their father out if we need it (again, picking up or putting food away, etc). I don't expect them to raise their brother/s, I don't expect them to sit at home during field trips because I'm too scared to let them go, I don't expect them not eat or play because the house is clean. I expect them to finish school, where my siblings and I were encouraged to quit. I hope they attend college, where again we were encouraged to not go. I want them to be independent where we were raised to need our parents forever.
    GothicMommy3

    Answer by GothicMommy3 at 9:41 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • well growning up the way i did i think im harder on my child because i don't want her to depend on a man i want to to be depend on herself and work hard at it i grew up with a mother who only loved her beer not her kids my child will always have a roof over her head food in her stomach cloths on her back and she will always be loved my child will have a better live then i did growing up and i will make sure of that
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • I try not to be like my mother but i find that i am very much like her. I have yelled at my daughter and i have sent her to her room for hitting her brother. But i refuse for her to grow up without hearing the words "I love you" come out of my mouth. I want my children to be "Strong, Independent, Confident, Responsible, and above all, Respectful and Loving". I allow my kids to enjoy their childhood and I when they grow older, i will encourage them to travel this beauttiful planet Earth.
    alejandra559

    Answer by alejandra559 at 10:00 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • alejandra...my parents never told me they loved me either and they never gave kisses...thats one thing i make sure of also is to give my son lots of kisses and to let him know he is loved.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 10:06 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Yep. We were NEVER told that we were loved, and I can't remember ever gettting hugs and kisses. When I grew up I had a good friend come into my life and family and she kinda started the whole "hug thang"!!! It really startled my mom for the longest time. Now, she (mom) makes kinda weird comments whenever the three of us siblings are together because we never leave without telling each other that we love each other and giving each other a hug....mom still can't bring herself to be a part of it!
    TimandMely4ever

    Answer by TimandMely4ever at 10:15 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • I am 'harder' on my kids than my parents were on me. My son doesn't fear me as I did my dad, but he does have respect - one thing I didn't have a child. It wasn't a requirement in my house growing up.
    RutterMama

    Answer by RutterMama at 10:40 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • My rules and expectations for my kids are the same in some areas and different in others. I have a very different parenting style than my folks did. They have a lot more input into family life than I did growing up.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 12:22 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

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