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Is it normal to feel like you are a bad mom

I have been working full time since my son was 9 months old. He is now two years old. My husband stays with him at the house since he works from home. My husband is able to teach him new things play with and do all the fun stuff while i am at work. It makes me feel like i am a bad mom since i can't be with him through out the day and teach him a lot of things like my husband does. I am scared he might resent me forever. Is it normal to feel this way.

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:45 AM on Jan. 13, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (7)
  • I think you just need to console yourself with the fact that your child has the wonderful benefit of being home with one of his parents all the time, even if that parent happens to be his dad instead of you. You shouldn't feel like a bad mom although I can certainly understand your feeling sad for having to miss out on so many of the sweet little things that Dad is getting to witness.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:59 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Yes it is normal to feel that way.Try to set aside some special time for just you and your son.And i doubt your son is going to resent you for making sure his needs are takin care of.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • You should not feel bad. How is it any different than if you stayed at home and your husband worked outside the home full time. You wouldn't worry that your son would resent his father forever. Stop worrying and enjoy the quality time you are with your son when you are not at work.

    Answer by RoostersMom4 at 11:00 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • I work 3 days a week and my son stays with my mother. Sometimes I cry when I go to leve him and feel bad when she told me he did something new. I have to take a breath and a step back and just enjoy the time I spend with him, I'm sure he has a great time with you, and like my husband tells me.....He most likely enjoys the time with you more because it'ssomthing special that he does not get all day.

    Answer by Mandabear1983 at 11:11 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Part of being a good mom is questioning what you are doing and who you are. Asking questions helps you re- evaluate your situation and address things. Your son will not resent you for what you do and who you are as long as you do it with love. Every family member has a different role and contribution to the family and it is those separate contributions that make u up as a whole. life can change at any time you may not always be in a position where you are out of the home this much. we do what is best for our family at the time.

    Answer by bearsbabies at 11:30 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • I felt the same way when I went back to college after my son was 3 months old. He stayed at home with Daddy while I was at school in the morning and then DH went to work in the afternoons. I missed him terribly and would be so upset when DH would tell me about a new word he said or a new thing he did. It broke my heart when he would cry for his daddy when I got home and DH left. I felt like I was missing the "bonding" time. But I also saw the benefits of this - he became incredibly attached to his daddy and they have a wonderful relationship. And it really didn't affect his relationship with me in the long run. I was in school till DS was almost 2, and he is now very attached to both of us and has a good bond with us both. Feel glad, as a PP said, that your baby has the benefit of not having to go to daycare and can be with one of the parents at all times. It really is good for all parties involved.

    Answer by Iskkra at 11:39 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Well, I work full time and my son's daycare center teaches him things, but its not possible for me to not work or bring home my income so I had to let go of some of that guilt and just play with him and teach him and do extra fun things with him when I am around. I get 6 hours a day with him, 3 in the morning, 3 at night and all weekends all day. I love it. I would not make a great SAHM either.. so he's probably luckier that I can't stay home.

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 12:28 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

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