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Should I leave my marriage?

I got married at 20. I said yes because I thought that was the next step.We have been together 30 years. I would not marry him again.I have found out I have a tumor on my pituitary gland and may need an operation.I feel stuck and want out.I am tired of putting up with his crankyness.I just don't like him.I want to do my own things .My daughter is with a fellow who has admitted to cheating on her but she still wants to marry him after college.I don't want her to feel the same way as me in a few years.My husband comes in the door and the kids usually leave because he is always complaining or cranky. I just want to be happy and I want my daughter to see that she is great and because her dad is not a good example she shouldn't run off with this guy. Help????

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:05 PM on Jan. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:08 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • It sound to me like you've already made up your mind. You deserve to be happy, and if you're not happy with him, then maybe it's time to move on.

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 12:10 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Call it quits...When it comes to the point that you and your kids are unhappy...then what was the question again? You already have your answer...You deserve to b happy and if you talked to him about what you feel and no change, then you make the change and move on...

    Answer by nikki1012009 at 12:11 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Your husband cannot be held responsible for your happiness nor for the lack ot it. Only you are responsible for whether or not you are happy. It is altogether possible that your husband's crankiness is the result of his knowledge of how you really feel about him and your marriage. Very rarely are problems in marriage 100% to 0% blame. All it takes to make a hellish marriage heavenly is for one of the partners to decide to turn it around. After having invested 30 years, I certainly would not give up on it now. You want to do your own things? And you think all your daughter's problems can be laid at the feet of her dad? You want out, so you are looking for every reason why it is the acceptable thing to do. Your husband senses your dissatisfaction, even though he's probably never said a word. Men don't talk about such things. They simply deal with them the best way they can, and your husband is complaining and grouchy!

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:14 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • I am kind of in a similar situation with my marriage. My husband is very cranky & seems depressed. He blames it on the fact that he knows I don't love him. However, he was like this in the beginning too....(when I did actually love him)

    I simply don't have the patience to be around misery. My life used to be so tremendously difficult and I had great reasons to be upset, sad, depressed, now that those issues are gone, I don't want to be around someone who has a great life, but is still miserable all the time, whining, complaining, acting like a baby..... I don't blame you for wanting to stop wasting your life with Mr. Misery.

    As for your daughter, you can only warn her. Sometimes we must learn the hard & long way. That's not so bad; this is how we gain wisdom, strength, character.

    Answer by TLALONDE16 at 1:06 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

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