Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Has anyone stayed with a guy after they cheated on you?

I am 18 and my byfriend is 21. One of my "friends" called me just before Christmas to tell me she slept with my boyfriend last jan.I knew he had done something with her and was waiting for him to tell me. When I confronted him he admitted it and started crying.He was embaressd and ashamed . he has been sobbing for a week about it. He never went to high school and he enjoyed all the attention he got from some of my friends on my space and on the phone. I told him not to talk to some of them because I knew they were just trying to have sex with him but he thought it was nice to have so many friends. Prior to finding this out he has grown up if you will a lot.I have been told by people that I can forget and start fresh or move on. I really love him and he has asked me to marry him when I am out of college but can you really forget?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on Jan. 13, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (18)
  • nope
    freedomthinks

    Answer by freedomthinks at 12:19 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • honestly the fact that he slepr with your FRIEND is even worse. It would be bad enough if he slept with a girl you didnt know but he slept with someone who was close to you. That is the ultimate disrespect in my opinion. You say he wants to marry you. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone you can't trust? He did it once, he can easily do it again. If you guys end up having kids it will just make things more complicated and you may end up hurting them as well. I say you find a man who deserves your love. You're still young. Take it from me, I am 20 and have a baby with my boyfriend of 3 yrs, we are happy and I love my life but I do advise other woman to take their time and make sure it's what you want...if he's cheated on you thats a red flag...disaster waiting to happen. Goodluck
    AlexxasMama

    Answer by AlexxasMama at 12:26 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Sorry Babe, once a cheater always a cheater. Not to sound like a mom but you have your entire life ahead of you do not waste time with this one...
    GL!
    chefronswife

    Answer by chefronswife at 12:29 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • I've been through this and for me, it didn't work out. Something I'm more than thankful for. But I do believe it is possible for a couple to get through this and go on to have a very happy and healthy marriage. It takes a very strong person/people to be able to do this though. It all comes down to you. Do you still trust him? Do you believe that he is sincere in his apology and really wont let this kind of thing happen again? If it is true and sincere to you, then that's all that matters. If you find yourself not being sure, then suggest that you both go to see a counselor. And if you do go see a counselor, keep in mind that it's ok to search around and find one you like. You don't have to settle. If you do work through all this and you think things are good and he does it again.. leave his a**!! lol Sorry but you don't need to put up with it at all, let alone twice. It's all about what you want to do at this point. Good Luck!
    Megs5384

    Answer by Megs5384 at 12:31 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • You're both so very young. He seems really sorry and he did admit to it...It would be difficult, but if he has alot of other redeeming qualities, you may CONSIDER forgiving him and moving forward. However, if you see this as potentially a serious relationship, you MUST realize that if he required the attention now because of lack of attention in his past - he will more than likely do this again. Perhaps not any time soon, but the second he feels neglected, bored, or overly flattered - he will cheat again. Do you hear that? He will cheat again. When a person has low self esteem and feels the need to be surrounded by alot of "friends", in addition to being easily seduced by attention - that person WILL cheat again. And it won't necessarily be physical every time, but sexy texts/emails and flirtations, photos...inappropriate conversation, etc. All of these will still degrade the relationship, thus degrade YOU.
    TLALONDE16

    Answer by TLALONDE16 at 12:33 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • I stayed with my ex after he cheated, but he kept cheating so it didn't work out for me. I do know of couples that did stay together after one (or even both) cheated, and sometimes it can work. But he has to be truly sorry for what he did, and you have to be able to truly put it behind you and forgive him. No, you will never forget that he did it, but if you both really want to make it work, you can forgive. Just be sure that's what you really want. I'd hate for you to be in your 30s or 40s and regretting the years you stayed with him. Good luck!
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 12:49 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Think about it for a minute. He isn't even the one that told you he cheated and he cried and felt bad about it AFTER he got caught. I would have had a little more respect for him if he told you himself. He sounds like a loser, and you deserve better. Move on, you will find someone who doesn't cheat on you. And if he is attention hungry now, he always will be,he will probably cheat with the next girl that gives him the attention he wants. I had an ex like this and they never change.
    newmomma14

    Answer by newmomma14 at 1:02 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • No, I call those crocodile tears!
    older

    Answer by older at 1:22 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • really the question here honey is not can you forgive or forget him..its can you or do you really want to forgive and forget about it with your friend...
    a friend wouldnt do something like that. boyfriends and ex-boyfriends are off limits.
    however, you can start fresh and move forward with trust and understanding from the both of you that anything more would result in you guys not being together.
    every relationship has to have trust...its the foundation of the relationship.
    if you have trust you can build from there for the forgiveness and to forget about it completely.
    camzma0407

    Answer by camzma0407 at 2:21 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • and true....he felt bad about it AFTER he got caught. he didnt come to you and tell you what he did, he let you find out from another source...so how much trust is there? how much was ever really there? there are a lot of questions to ask yourself.
    camzma0407

    Answer by camzma0407 at 2:22 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN