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Marine husband Super Sucks when it comes to being ROMANTIC,what to do?

My hubby an I have been married for about 4 yrs. an hes Marine recruiter, I was wondering if my husband is the only Marine whose not romantic cuz hes been train to be tough an cant show weekness.
Im not sure what to think anymore, yea he hugs me an kisses me but when it comes to a flower now an then well put it this way he SUPER SUCKS at being ROMANTIC.

For my birthday or X-mas he got me S**T he said happy b-day in the morning with a kiss but thats it im a simple girl. I would have been happy with a card an a single flower. We've actually had this conversation already he just dosent have in him.

So his b-day is coming up in April ,so should I do something for him like I do every yr. ? or should I give a dose of his own meds....

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roxy22sd

Asked by roxy22sd at 12:36 PM on Jan. 13, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • well, if you've already had this conversation and he says he just doesn't have it in him, then I think you'll just have to learn to accept it. I do think it's crappy that he didn't get you anything for Christmas or your birthday; that's not romantic, that's just plain being nice. But the other stuff...well, just remember that romance isn't everything. Sometimes it's other stuff that counts more. Does he do little things, like maybe making sure your car is running well or handywork around the house? Sometimes that kind of thing is their way of being romantic.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 12:46 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Chances are he won't know the difference. My hubby's feelings wouldn't be hurt one bit if I completely forgot his birthday or a holiday - I do something only because I want to show him I care. He also sucks at traditional romance, but he shows me he cares in other ways like filling up my car or scraping ice from my window without being asked. Once I realized he was showing me he cared in his own way it was easier to not be upset by the missing romantic gestures that I thought were important.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:47 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • GIVE HIM NOTHING BUT A "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" AND A KISS for his day!! Then for your own birthday, spoil yourself silly!!!!! If you have already had the conversation but he doesn't have enough respect or motivation to step it up, then you must accept it and try other ways to celebrate your holiday. My husband is not a marine, but in the beginning of our relationship, I spend HUNDREDS of dollars on him and he spent like 20 bucks on me....same with Christmas...I was PISSED! I told him how thoughtless it was of him and the following years, he really spoiled me with EVERYTHING I wanted..... Part of it is that his family (his mother) spoils and spoils him and he does/gives nothing in return...so it seemed normal & acceptable to him to be that way.

    If I were you, I would save the money you would use for his birthday for YOURS and go out with girlfriends; spa treatments, shopping spree, movie & dinner, etc!
    TLALONDE16

    Answer by TLALONDE16 at 12:51 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • I suspect that we all have different ideas of romantic. To me, there is nothing sexier than seeing my man clean the bathroom!

    I don't care about cards or gifts or flowers; the little, unexpected things mean so much more.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 1:10 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • air forceIf you give him a dose of his own meds then you are being HIM, not yourself. Do what your heart tells you to do. If you want to teach someone something it's best to show them. Don't repeat his ineffective behavior on his birthday. Show him what you expect of him by serving as an example. (dinner, card, gift, whatever) I think you are lucky. You get a kiss and a hug plus a flower some days. My military SO wouldn't even do that. I do believe they think it's a sign of weakness but we have to train them. The military trained them one way so we have to deprogram them! lol

    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:32 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • I think you just have to tell him how it makes you feel....perhaps you mentioned that you would like him to do this and that...but explain to him how it makes you feel when he doesnt show you romance......tell him you need and want that.....ask him what he thinks he could do to work on you with this....perhaps make you breakfast sometime, on the way home buy a flower, or perhaps your favorite meal as a surprise.......or take you out to a surprise dinner......see if you could make a date night once a week and show him what you want and see if he could do it in baby steps....my husband is a marine too.....but he's the opposite...he's a total mush.....not something you'd expect from a man in recon right? LOL....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:07 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • I don't think it's the Corps that did it. Some guys just aren't lovey-dovey. Mine included. The only time he got really emotional was when I left Lejeune after visiting before we were married & in some letters when he was in Iraq & a little homesick. I agree with telling him how you feel, maybe he doesn't even realize he's (not) doing it--even if you've already done it before. Tell him you just want some affection, maybe list the special things you do for him. I wouldn't forget his birthday but maybe just plan something smaller than other years. Good luck! Let me know if you find something that works.
    RugersMommy06

    Answer by RugersMommy06 at 10:21 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • Most of his military career he's been told what to do, when to do it, and how to do it, correct? Maybe you need to pull rank on him :) TELL him EXACTLY what you want (i.e. "babe, i'd really love it if sometimes you got me a flower, or randomly got me a card"...) If you've already done it...make a joke out of it. Buy yourself a card, fill it out as if HE were writing it (make it simple) and maybe he'll see how easy you are to please in that aspect. He may be afraid to fail at being romantic so he avoids it all together.

    As for HIS birthday...YES do it as you do every year. It's not his fault he's not romantic...he's a guy! A military guy at that!
    milfalicious08

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 4:51 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

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