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Have you ever denied your child's father from seeing them due to non-payment of child support?

My son's father hasn't paid child support since the beginning of December. I called the courthouse no action can be done until Feb. 1st~

Of course will speak to my lawyer on the matter as well. And it's not fair to my child for him to not see his dad-but am I wrong for feeling this way?


Asked by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Jan. 13, 2010 in Money & Work

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Be very careful with this. Most states (maybe even all of them...) treat visitation and support as two separate issues. So if you deny your ex his court ordered visitation, it could be you in contempt of court instead of him. And like you said, it's not really fair to your child if they don't get to see their parent because of it.

    I don't think it's wrong to feel that way. You feel what you feel. But I do think it would be wrong both morally towards your child and legally in the eyes of the court to act on it by denying visitation.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 3:07 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • any lawyer will tell you that child support and visitation are not tied to each other, you can't withold visitiation because of lack of payment

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 3:04 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • It's illegal in some states to keep a dad from seeing the child due to non payment. Ask.

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:09 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • No, I've never done that, and I never would. My daughter is CRAZY about her father, and it would be downright selfish of me to keep her from him. Even if my daughter's father didn't pay child support, I have enough income for the both of us to live comfortably.

    Answer by Fallaya at 3:11 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • You should never deny a parent access to their child (unless of course they're abusive). Although keeping child support from you and your son is selfish and really crappy on your ex's part, denying him visitation with his child will make you just as wrong as him and will not look good for you as a parent. Let the court handle the child support.

    Answer by Court128 at 3:20 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • I don't think you're wrong for feeling this way but like the others have said, it could get you into trouble and it's not worth it. If your child's father is not going to be an adult and take care of his financial responsibility, that is all the more reason for you to be there for your child and not in court or worse because you withheld visitation. Lawyers and judges will tell you non payment of child support and visitation are not related and they really should be. I'm honestly disgusted by people who will defend a deadbeat's right to see their child. It's like somehow if the parents are no longer a couple then it's alright for whoever is assigned child support to not pay it. They are breaking a court order, for God's sake. I think you should go ahead with whatever legal proceedings are going to happen on the 1st and let the courts deal with the worthless ex. Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:25 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Yes, you are. Your child is not a bargaining chip nor a carnival ride that your ex spouse has to pay to get on. It's wrong emotionally AND legally. It's not about you and your feelings, it's about your child and his/her relationship with his/her father. If you would even consider that for a second, you are clearly not thinking with your child's best interests in mind -- just your own selfish ones.

    Answer by elleinad at 3:27 PM on Jan. 13, 2010