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how do I discipline her?

My daughter is 2 years 8 months. she,s too stubborn. I don't know how to cope with her tantrums, she refused to use the potty and is still messing herself up.she's always fond of pulling off her clothes and prefer to be nude in this cold weather! she's very destructive,the worst thing is that she doesn't take instruction from anyone, my friends say that she's equivalent to four kids put together!I'm at my wits end!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:34 PM on Jan. 13, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • When parents say discipline they usually mean punish. Many parents only know about spanking, time-outs, ignoring, taking things away, or other forms of punishments. Punishments do not teach good behavior. They don't work with most kids. Bad behavior gets worse, kids get sneakier, kids start telling lies, kids hit and hurt others, and kids resent parents. Psychologists know punishments don't work.

    It's normal for a child your daughter's age to not be potty trained and to want to be naked. If she is not parented well then you can expect tantrums and destructive behavior. The problem is not your daughter its that you don't know the right parenting skills to use with her. Even strong willed children can be 'tamed' without punishment and parents can enjoy their children. I know, I had strong willed children and now I have a strong willed toddler grandson that I am helping raise.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 6:43 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • First read about child development so you know what is normal for a 2 year old. You can get books or find things on the web. Dr. William Sears is good on development. Love & Limits is a good first parenting book for young kids. It is written by Elizabeth Crary. She also has a website called Star Parenting. There is a parenting chart on the website you can print out to get you started.

    You can go to google and read about authoritative parenting. This may be enough to get you going in the right direction. Remember to always expect more from yourself than your child. Children and parents are more likely to misbehave when they are bored, hungry or tired.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 6:49 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • My daughter is the same way. Just be patient, give her lots of love and attention, and be consistent in your punishment.
    BaisMom

    Answer by BaisMom at 8:23 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • consistency is key.. as is choosing your battles. One of the best pieces of advice I have heard is to ask yourself the question "what is the worst that can happen if she does >>>>>> " Decide if you can deal with that, if you can let it be. If not, pick a consistent punishment and stick to it. The more firm you are the more she will learn that she has to listen and behave. It may take a week or two of really hard work on your part, but it will get easier!

    Dr. Sears books really are a great tool, and educate yourself on child development so you know what is normal for her age. At 2 she may not be ready to potty train, and temper tantrums are normal behavior. She's testing your limits, so set them firmly and stick to them! Good luck!
    kristal2146

    Answer by kristal2146 at 9:12 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • The not wanting to be potty trained and wanting to be naked is normal at this age. My 3yo is just getting over that (and I can understand it driving you crazy). Just be consistant. When we are home I let her run around with just underwear or a pull up (It is also easier for potty training), but when we are out I gently remind her why she has to keep her clothes on.
    MooNFaeRie30

    Answer by MooNFaeRie30 at 6:28 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

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