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is it time to move on?

i have been with a guy now 7 yrs and he and i are currently apart ,we live in different states.I am very lonely and tired of living alone, he has asked i come back to his place and stay ,im just not sure as he is very close to his sister and she and i do not get along.when i last saw her this past summer she informed me she'd been talking to her phychiatrist about me and her brothers relationship.I have asked him to move where we wouldnt be living so close by , he says he'd consider it.Is it wrong of me to expect him to tell his family if they cant accept me then just stay away or how should i handle things when she drops by , it makes me feel very uncomfortable being in same room as her.She also pretended to be friendly to me to my face but behind my back told her brother " i only talk to her meaning me and stuff because of you ( her brother) and the worst part is she claims to be a church going woman.any advice?id appreciate


Asked by Anonymous at 7:59 PM on Jan. 13, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • First of all, you need to tell him that she shouldn't be talking about your relationship to her shrink. It's not her place to do so, and he needs to talk to her. Second, he needs to tell her, that unless he is home, she is not to drop by, because you and her don't get along. He can't force you guys to get along, and he is stuck in the middle, but he can tell her to butt out of your relationship. If he doesn't, and you move in, then you need to tell her. You are doomed if you don't. You have a choice. Lay down the ground rules, and make him and her stick to them, or say goodbye and move on. The truth is, every family has someone like this, and it's something you will have to deal with again eventually. You just need to figure out if he is worth the trouble of dealing with her. Good luck.

    Answer by Punky_1981 at 12:06 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • i think its really up to you .... but i am/was in the same situation except my hubby now has 3 brothers and since they met me 2 of them didnt like me and tried to get in our relationship as b/f &g/f and we still decided to get married and they were nice in front of my face but behind my back it was a different story... it got to the point where it got sooo bad i gave my hubby a ultamadem and i told him its either you r brothers or me & your kids ! i honestly thought he was going to choose his family because hes really attached at the hip with them.... i hated it he couldnt make any decisions without their opinion... and i told him if you choose me i dont want any contact with them and they cant call my house comeover when they come to ca. to visit... nothing i dont wan tnegative influences in my kids life, but the other brother i get a long with great ... good luck

    Answer by Naralie at 8:09 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • I think if you were really into him, his sister wouldn't hold you apart. And if you are into but just can't get over his sister, then you both are being immature and it wouldn't be a good situation anyway. If she's the only reason you won't move to be with him, then get over it and move. She probably has ideas about you that aren't true, maybe you leave the wrong impression on her. If she was talking about you behind your back within earshot, she does sound like a troublemaker, but the way you deal one of those is to keep her at an arm's length, don't give her any reason to hate you (no matter how much you loathe them) and stay on an even keel. Don't let them pull you in and be buddy-buddy then kick you in the teeth.. Either way, it's up to you... do you want to be with him or not? If not, then break it off.

    Answer by Seven07 at 8:19 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • I would move on. These kind of problems only multiply when you're married. This isn't someone you want to be with, you've been together 7 years and you're not married? That sounds like he's just not that into you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:33 PM on Jan. 13, 2010