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am I overreacting?

I have a so called friend that I get to see only twice a year, we sw each other the week right after christmas, well, when I got to the restaurant there were tons of her other friends there, she totally ignored me, I didn't get to sit the table with her. and I felt ignored. When I told her about it after she got back home, she was in attack mode and just accused me of being selfish and a diva...it was so hurtful. I came bearing christmas gifts for her and her kid, and she never even asks me about my kids. How do you know when friendship is over??

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ilovedogs1967

Asked by ilovedogs1967 at 8:37 PM on Jan. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (50 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • A friendship isn't over just bc there are more friends in one's life. Next time make plans to see her alone and not with a lot of others.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:42 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • usually i have found what ppl call you may or may not be true but they are probably the same way themselves. evaluate your friendship for yourself, if you feel like she is a true friend then love covers all and forgive her, she is human. if the relationship isnt worth it or you see you arent as close as you used to be and you are doing all that you can on your end (honestly) then still forgive her for hurting your feelings but sounds like its time to find a new friend that you can be more closer with or relate more with.
    Babiluv80

    Answer by Babiluv80 at 8:47 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • If you feel that you are the only one putting effort and energy into the relationship, it's time to let it go. Friendships cannot be one-sided.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:10 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • When someone doesn't give a crap about your feelings, it's over. Did you approach her in a non-accusitory way...allowing her to understand your feelings were hurt without necessarily blaming her? She may have felt attacked and lashed out at you, but if you don't think any of those things were at play and she plain just doesn't care about your hurt feelings then maybe she was never really a friend at all and you're better off without her in your life. Some people are just self absorbed, toxic people and we are healthier without them...it's sad to say goodbye but even sadder to continue letting them hurt us.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:18 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Exactly how did you tell her? Did you jump all over her, and tell her you didn't like being ignored? That may have had something to do with the "attack mode" she used. If you think the friendship has hit a dead end, then you are probably right. Usually the way I tell a friendship is over, is when you start treating each other differently. She doesn't return phone calls, doesn't contact you at all. Doesn't seem to want to talk to you when you contact her. There are all kinds of signs that a friendship has reached the end of the line. Just depends on if you think yours is worth working on or not. Sometimes our lives change so much that the old friends we had, just don't fit there anymore, and we grow apart.

    Punky_1981

    Answer by Punky_1981 at 11:40 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

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