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How do you not to cross the line?

First off me and my love (we both lesbains) have a 2 1/2 year old little boy she is alwas saying that i dont disaplene him enough but i dont want to cross the line he is her kid but we both claim him as our son she spanks him but im afraid to do that and dont get this wrong but when he screams he gets hot sauce screaming is uncalled for unless you are in danger so what should i do help please

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Asked by monky2 at 9:25 PM on Jan. 13, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • Ok, well, I don't agree with the hot sauce thing, but...that's me. To answer your question, it sounds as though she's made it clear how she wants him disciplined, and also clear that she is comfortable with you doing it. My boyfriend disciplines my kids. We discussed discipline before he even met them, actually before we even got together, and when he met them, it just seemed very natural when he stepped into a disciplinary role. If you are not comfortable doing it b/c you feel she hasn't been clear on when or how to discipline him, then sit down with her and ask her to clarify it more for you. If you aren't comfortable b/c you fear that you might abuse him or something, then you need to talk to her and explain that. Other than that, I think you just have to step up and do it. If you want to call him your son, and you want to be with her, then this is part of life and parenthood. Good luck!

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:36 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Thanks that help me alot

    Answer by monky2 at 9:45 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • I agree with tropicalmama

    Answer by sounthernmommy at 10:21 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Hot sauce? PLEASE tell us the logic in that. Tell us what he is supposed to learn by doing that? Do you really think he is old enough to understand the connection? Just out of curiosity don't you think hot sauce just MIGHT make him scream MORE? Hitting the child shows that your partner needs to take parenting classes too. Do the child a favor and get educated on how to train up a child bc so far both of you are abusing him. that's just sad. The damage you two are doing is just wrong and it does NOT have anything to do with you being lesbians so don't think I'm going there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:05 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • and you have a better ideal of telling him not to scream at you let me know do you live in apartment and yes i do think he know what is because as soon as you pull it out he stops i have only had to us it like 3 time and anytime he screams i tell him im going to go it and he stops

    Answer by monky2 at 11:23 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • That is a horrible thing to teach a child that young. What are you going to do when he develops a taste for the hot sauce, and it doesn't work anymore?! Seriously, this is child abuse and only one step from the child being beaten because he doesn't listen, when in fact it's the parents fault he doesn't listen. You are teaching him that doing these things to someone is okay, and it's not. Take away his toys. Sit him down in time out. Sometimes a child is going to scream. There is nothing you can do about that. The more you acknowledge his screams, and pay attention to it, the more he is going to do it. There is nothing wrong with letting a child scream if that's what he is going to do. Ignore it, and eventually he will see it's getting him nowhere. I'm pretty sure the apartment building you live in has thicker walls than you think, and your neighbors will hardly even hear him, if they hear him at all. Take parenting classes.

    Answer by Punky_1981 at 11:52 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • First you said "we have a 2 1/2 year old son" then "It's her kid". I think you might be uneasy about your role as a parent. If you and your partner are raising this boy together, he is YOUR SON too. Meaning you have to discipline as well. I'm glad to hear you don't use the hot sauce anymore...I couldn't even imagine...anyhow...If you're not comfortable with spanking you need to communicate this that way maybe you two can come up with a compromise on how to effectively discipline your son. He needs consistency and for BOTH of you to correct bad behavior. Most children respond to different methods, and maybe you two just haven't found what works yet? Talk with friends and family and see if they have any advice and go from there, but go TOGETHER. Communication is key.

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 3:14 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

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