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should I stay or should I go?

I am from Australia and live with my boyfriend we have a 14 month old girl we are not doing good in the relationship I am not in love and I am going crazy with living here life is alot better in OZ (no offense) but it is way easier and the government look after the people. My Dad is there 67 and loads of friends and family support I have no friends or family here and am getting quite distressed and not at my best potential for my daughter. Iam 43 very worldy not stupid and he is 47 in large debt and needs to get more responsible. I feel I can reach my full potential going home and be happier. I live in CT moved from FL 1 year ago a stay at home mum. We are not intimate 18 months now and I just see my life going by and I am not nice to be with anymore I feel like starting resh I would be gone if it wasn't for the fact that I would be splitting them up I wanted to go when I was pregnant but needed to give it a try. a hard choice

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Kiwi66

Asked by Kiwi66 at 9:38 PM on Jan. 13, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • that sucks. i think whats best for you is best for your child. you & him will have to work out a way for him to see the child. you should probably go.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:05 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • It's never easy when a child comes into the picture. I would talk to him, let him know how you feel, and what you want to do. Maybe he is ready for a change too, and will move there to be with his child. Either way if you think it's best for you, then you should go, if he lets you take her. Just make sure to do it the legal way, so your daughter doesn't get caught in the middle of something nasty.

    Punky_1981

    Answer by Punky_1981 at 11:27 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • I would say go, if he's in debt and immature at 47! There isn't much of a chance of things changing soon. You need to be strong for your daughter.. i'd go home... but jesus did you plan her? lol you people are kinda old for kids... no offense i just couldn't imagine
    Jan0609momma

    Answer by Jan0609momma at 2:28 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • I appreciate jan0609momma's first part of her response but where do you get off judging others like that? Did we plan her? Do you realise how insensitive you sound? Would it matter if we didn't (in fact we did) we love her more than anything on this earth....you make it sound as though did we sit down with a pen and paper and methodically work it out. She was an act of love either way. and as for the rude comment about being kind of old!!! You obviously are still so young and naive and have no idea how to talk to people...and you have children? what kind of example are you o them. We are not old in fact can you swim 3 miles in a pool in 70 mins? didn't think so....I can I am a strong fit triathlete and not on any meds like most of the population here and my man is an extreme downhill skier and works with special needs kids we are both worldy and intelligent people and have alot o offer a child and I believe was better waiting
    Kiwi66

    Answer by Kiwi66 at 2:50 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • cont-also you have no idea of our previous situation prior to having this child and as to why we did not have them earlier.....at least we are mature enough to never spit out anything so insulting....however; I should be mature enough to not even let this bother me and it doesn't I just wanted to point out your rudeness and perhaps your might learn to bite your tongue in the future.
    Kiwi66

    Answer by Kiwi66 at 2:53 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • The bottom line is that you're not in love anymore. If you search very hard within yourself and still find that your heart is just not with him anymore, then you need to go. You absolutely CANNOT stay with him for your daughter. That will only damage her in the end. He will still be her father, and she will still be his daughter no matter what. I just advise you to really search deep in your heart to make absolutely sure that you are not in love anymore. Relationships are never rainbows and butterflies, the trick is to recall the love, the passion, and all those things that made it so wonderful. If you can't, it's time to go. If the issue is simply his debt and responsibility issues, I saw work through it with him, IF your heart is in it. My Fiance is in a heap of debt, but it doesn't change the fact that I love him regardless. Either way, I wish you the best of luck!
    milfalicious08

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 3:06 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

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