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How do i help my son change & straighten up if he doesn't want to,this has been going on for almost a year now?

he's disrespectful,always in trouble even to the extent of going to court but he acts like he's such a respectable kid and does no wrong!

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Asked by ToughMama09 at 10:42 PM on Jan. 13, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (11)
  • Boot camp or reform school. Or you can try just the threat of that and see if it works. My parents threatened to take me out of public school and put me in a christian private school when i was in high school because I wouldn't get my act together. Just the threat of that alone made me change my ways.

    Answer by Ash9724 at 10:45 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Tell him he will be going to Military school if he doesn't straighten up. We told that to our son and haven't had behavior problems with him since. I printed off papers from a local military school here, put his name on them and laid them in the dining room table so he would see them. He said , what's that Mom? and I told him all I had to do was send the papers to them. No more crap after that.. Oh and chores, and lots of them, keep him busy, work the bad behavior out of him, that helps too.. GL

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:47 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Does he have plenty of structured activities and requirements with adult supervision? Some boys need to be so over loaded with stuff to do that they have no time or opportunity to misbehave. Community service, school activities, sports, music, a JOB, etc. And don't buy him stuff. He can get a job and earn it.

    Answer by ecodani at 10:48 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Sometimes there isn't much you can do. My cousin was like that when we were growing up. He was very respectful in front of people, made it seem like he was a great kid, but when it was just family, he was a total terror. Finally my Aunt pretty much gave up on him, and he ended up in a bad situation, went to court for it, and he almost ended up in jail. That's what finally got him to straighten out. Tough love is sometimes the only thing you can do that helps them. Good luck with yours.


    Answer by Punky_1981 at 10:49 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • I'm not sure how he can be disrespectful yet act respectful. Does that mean he's polite when the police arrest him or when the judge talks to him? I'm not really bashing. I'm just trying to understand.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:53 PM on Jan. 13, 2010

  • Tough love, military school, boot camps. The problem is that he doesn't see anything wrong in whatever it is that he is doing. My grandfather was a trouble maker as a teen and he got himself arrested. It was something minor, but his father let him sit in jail for a couple of days. I am sure he was angry at his father, but he learned his lesson.

    Answer by balagan_imma at 10:18 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • maybe he needs therapy. expressive communication. anger mgmt... idk what kind but maybe someone can really help him...

    Answer by AmaliaD at 11:19 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • Strip away everything. Put him in a program. And do not waiver!

    Answer by BaisMom at 11:28 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • He sounds like a candidate for military school or at least summer boot camp.

    You can try the idea of laying military school information on the dining room table but that backfired on us. I went so far as to order an enrollment catalogue from a military school and when it arrived my son was excited about getting to go. Unfortunately we couldn't afford the school. Lucky for us he grew out of some of his bad behavior and we medicated him for ADD which helped tremendously.


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • Military school. Have him evaluated by a psychologist. Just understand that you can NOT force someone to change who is not ready or willing to change.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 6:22 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

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