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Has anyone gone through this...or have any knowlege about this...

Okay...I'm not with the father of my first child. He's a jerk. I have a restraining order against him and the only time he can have contact with or see his daughter is during visitation. She is 2 years old. He see her every sunday for 8 hours WITH his parents supervision. He is 25, and I am 20. I have 100% legal and physical custody of my daughter. He pays child support...only $35 a week because he in unemployed. living situation right now is I live with my fiance who is 21, my daughter, and me and my fiance's son who is 7 months old. We live in a small apartment in my parent's basement. It is way too small. We are thinking about moving from Massachusetts to either Sout Carolina (with my fiance's mother until we can get our own place) or to New Hampshire. Does anyone know if my daughters father can keep us from moving out of state? What are his rights? We need to move, it would help us so much financially.

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:28 AM on Jan. 14, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (11)
  • You need to consult a lawyer who is familiar with family law in your state.

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:34 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • Go to and go to KNOW THE LAWS then find your state and see what the law is. In our state you only have to tell the father that you are taking the child out of state but each state has their own law.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:35 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • Your current custody agreement will let you know whether you can move easily or not, but you really need to talk to a lawyer about this.

    Answer by aeneva at 10:36 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • It depends on the state. You will probably have to get the court's approval. It may be very difficult. You want to move to another state, your baby's father and his family won't get to see the baby, you don't have a job lined up, you are living with a man you aren't married to, that man also has a baby , he doesn't have a job. Why would the court let you do that?

    In the US you aren't just a citizen of the US you are also a citizen of the state you live in. My divorce was in Indiana and they have very strict laws. My youngest son never met his father but I couldn't leave the state with him. It would be amber alert, kidnapping, go to prision. You can leave the state for vacation or to visit family if you have the other parent's permission. We couldn't leave Indiana until he was 19 and was emancipated. He couldn't even leave when he was 18.

    Answer by Gailll at 10:39 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • With our agreement I don't need his permission to take her out of the state for vacation. I just have to make up for the visitation he missed while we were gone. And my fiance DOES have a job, and it's not just that he has a's OUR baby. MY son too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • Think about the choices you are making right now. You are only 20 and have a 2 year old daughter. You are living in your parent's basement with a man and his baby. You love him. If you can love a man that has a baby by another woman that can't support you and your child you can love a man that has a job, can support you, and hasn't just gotten out of a relationship that produced a child.

    Get this guy and his baby out of your parent's basement. There is nothing wrong with you being there. Work out with your parents a plan for your future for the next year. Be a full time mom, get a job, go back to school, whatever works for you and them. Let your lover take care of himself and his baby. Think about the possibility of a better relationship.

    You have great parents for letting a 25 year old guy and his baby live in their basement!

    Answer by Gailll at 10:49 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • I would check your custody arrangement to see what is said in there. If nothing is there call a family lawyer and see if they can advise you of what your legal responsibilities are in this situation. In my dh's divorce papers/custody arrangement all we have to do is notify his ex. She only has the right to contest us moving if we move out of the country. Those provisins were in the divorce decree so check your custody papers and it may have the answers you need.

    Answer by SuzanneL09 at 10:54 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • I see now that it is your son too. My bad, I read it wrong. So sorry. That makes a big difference. I was thinking really bad things about him. I thought you were saying your daughter, you, your fiance and his baby.

    You still have great parents.

    I really am sorry. I know how tough it is for young parents. One of my sons has a toddler and he lost his job and is a stay at home father, his wife works full time. He is going back to college full time next week to finish his degree and I'm going to take care of my grandson. He is getting a lot of financial aid, over $5000 above tuition and books.

    Again I'm really sorry.

    Answer by Gailll at 10:58 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • I am sorry...I guess the way I wrote that came out and my fiance have a son's not HIS son, it's OUR son...

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • And he HAS a job...I never SAID he didn't have a job. We are fine financially right now...but moving would be better for us

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

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