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Trying to understand men...........

I went through a hurtful break-up a few months ago and with all these social networking sites I'm learning it's hard to stay out of sight and out of mind. My ex broke up with me and broke my heart (even though we got along great- I think he has a fear of commitment), met someone else a few weeks later (but that ended), and then recently joined Match.com and looked at my profile. Why would he do that? If it's merely out of curiousity, you can hide your profile if you want to be anonymous. Truthfully, we had a good relationship and loved one another. I think he's not sure of what he wants following a nasty divorce and is scared to take a chance. I didn't respond to him. Could he be having doubts? Or was he messing with me to see if I would respond? I don't understand men! Maybe you can give me some insight!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:24 AM on Jan. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Possibly curiousity if your name came up as a match. He might miss you but is commitment phobic. Give it some time. He might realize what a good thing you two had and try to contact you. It is hard but wait and see what happens.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • To understand men, you must have the mind of a child...they have tantrums, they are unpredictable, they love..but hate showing it, they run from responsibilities, they don't like a lot of questions, they never give a straight answer and the next woman always look appealing to them, thus being....never satisfied...JUST LIKE CHILDREN!!!!!! BE grown and be patient.....
    nikki1012009

    Answer by nikki1012009 at 11:43 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • Having been on Match.com in the past (met my husband there) I do believe that he probably saw you and was just curious. Maybe he was new to it and didn't realize he'd be leaving a record by his visit. Don't read anything into it unless he comes out and says something about it. I remember when I was on match, I'd see my ex's profile and I'd want to look at it. But knowing I'd leave a record by looking, I'd avoid it or I would log out and just look that way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:12 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • Good luck on figuring men out! Only he can tell you what his motives are.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:12 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • OP...We actually met on Match several years ago so he KNEW I would see it. He's very bright and obviously wanted me to see it. I'm just not sure why???
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:16 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • Ask your self if this man want to controle you life. You will find most of the ancer in you self.Seeing how well this man knew you. and still knows you. when a relationship starts it truely never ends. It on how they finish in the last converstion that you have with the person. And if there will be more after that. if both partys agree to end the relationship its best to end it on good terms even if there a small good terms.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • Men are more action oriented instead of being subtle leaving clues. So I don't think it means a thing unless he calls you or emails you. You were married to him so you know his communication style. So you would know more than any of us I would think. It might be more of a "I'm watching you..." kinda thing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • No, we weren't married but it was a long-term relationship. There was a strong love between us so I know he has to still feel something (it's only been about 3 months). He was talking to me about marrying him at one point so the feelings were very strong on both ends. Maybe it's the " I don't want you, but I don't want someone else to have you either" thing. Or then again maybe it's doubts. I am having trouble letting go because I know the connection was strong, but because he ended the relationship I think he should reach out to me first. It stinks to feel this way, but I guess I have no choice.

    BTW, I love this website where we can share our advice and experiences. It really helps to get advice from others. Sometimes when you are the one emotionally involved it's hard to see the truth. Thank you ladies! Your advice is very much appreciated and I'd love to hear more!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:59 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • I think it is smart to wait for him to make the first move if that is what he wants. Do not contact him and don't look at his profile. Act as though you don't care and that you've happily moved on. However, be wary of him wanting you back if you meet someone else. He might do that to get you away from the other guy - and then break your heart again down the line.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • How long were you together? If he wants you back, he needs to earn your love. Don't just jump back into his arms.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 1:36 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

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