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Do you really believe your job as a parent is to spend 24/7 with your child?

Or do you believe that your job as a parent is to prepare your child for "the real world" via love, education, and the like?

I've seen too many responses that say parents are lazy if they aren't with their child every waking moment. That seems asinine to me. Children learn through many different avenues, one of which is being exposed to different people and situations. Why am I a lazy parent if I send my child to day care and allow trained educators to teach her? Why am I lazy if I allow my mom to take her overnight? I just don't get how my daughter would benefit from being with me *all the time*.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:31 AM on Jan. 14, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (65)
  • I just do what I feel is best for our boys. They do well in social settings, go to school everyday, stay at friends homes. I think the difference is that I'm "there for them" 24/7 but that doesn't necessarily mean they are with us 24/7.... I also think it's healthy for our children to learn how to adapt to different situations. JMO anyway..
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:36 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • No way! My kids would get tired of me. They need breaks from us just like we need breaks from them. Daycare is good for kids to learn social skills with peers. Sending her to grandmas for the night isnt lazy, they need time together too.
    cakright

    Answer by cakright at 11:34 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • I agree with you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • I agree w/ you wholeheartedly. I think suffocating a child is much worse and you can't tell me that spending 8 hrs. a day apart from them while you're at work is 'missing their childhood.' Part of childhood is exploring and discovering things on our own. I was a very independent child and mostly wanted to find things out for myself. My best friends mom stayed home w/ her until she was in kindergarten. At 2 her mom tried taking her to a daycare program for a few hours a day and my friend cried non-stop, so she got no socialization until kindergarten. As an adult, it shows, I can tell you that much!
    danielp

    Answer by danielp at 11:35 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • My son was with me 24/7 from birth until about age 2/3, then I started sending him 2 days a week to preschool, and other places without me and with me in the background. At 4 he went to Head Start 4 days a week. And other oppourtunities aways from me. By school age, he went to cub scouts, overnights with friends...and even at 12, a week long Boy Scout camp. So, I believe it is both. I believe from birth until age 2/3..it is your job to be there 24/7. Then gradually wean them off you into fully independent, self-sufficiant people.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 11:36 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • It's very unhealthy for your kid to be with you 24/7. They are not kangaroos, they are humans, designed to eventually detach and go off on their own. I really think these moms just have no other identity than "mom," and if they do anything outside of that, they have no concept of self.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:37 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • I agree as well! A child is like a sponge - they need different experiences and different people to interact with! What fun would life be if we were only exposed to ONE person all the time? Who doesn't love their memories of going to Grandma's house? Of recalling Grandma's cooking (or Grandpa's in my case - haha)! Why shouldn't a child know other people? Sounds a bit selfish and lonesome if you ask me (someone who thinks their child should spend ALL their time with their parent).
    AbbyJada

    Answer by AbbyJada at 11:41 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • I like MrsLeftlane's comment.................."I'm there for them 24/7"


    My kid's and I would have killed each other if we had been together all day every day........LOL!  Both kids went to daycare before they were even two months old and are confident, independent people who know their mother loves them very much.  Maybe they would have been this way regardless of whether or not I worked, but being a good mother doesn't mean you have to be "joined at the hip" to your children.

    Dyndudes

    Answer by Dyndudes at 11:50 AM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • I'm a stay at home mom because I'm a better mom doing more things for them and with them than had I worked outside my home. Daycare for my sick kids hasn't been a hassle since my home is my fulltime day job. I've had tons of joys being a volunteer in my three kids schools plus on class trips too. I haven't had to worry about missing a day's work or a couple of hours to do those things. Neighbors have watched my kids who'd been coming home when I was on class trips with another of my 3 kids.

    2 of my kids are thru college -one has 2college degrees. He told me when he was a teen and I was worried about his friends - a former friend was in drug rehab - that his friends are good he didn't hang with bad kids. He's still true to that. He and his girlfriend while jobhunting live here. Guess I've done something right. My other 2kids - 1's going thru college now having a blast another's in hs.

    Most important is that we mother.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 12:22 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • Oh and my kids have had tons of sleepovers and sleepouts. They've been in scouts and karate lessons. Have no idea what some people think being an at home mom makes people like op and anon think a stay at home mom demands and enforces their kids only be with them until and after school. That a stupid way of thinking. I do know lots of work away from home moms who think that too. That's like believing a work away from home mom never wants to ever be with their kids so they're not even together nights ever or weekends.

    We've been in tons of playgroups and a preschool too for one of my kids. I've gone out with friends evenings and weekends too if my husband's not watched my kids.

    Again, a mom's best that she parents well not that she's home working days or working away from home.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 12:30 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

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