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Should I give child support back to dad?

I once took care of my granddaughter (awarded co conservatership) where I also got child support. Dad didnt work and he got in arrears. Daughter finally got her life together and we went to court to award her child support, I get more than what my daughter gets. For six months, I've been handing it over to her ,but she gets too demanding to get it, which irritates me. I don't like being in the middle. I've contacted the state for a review to fix things, but still no word. I've written a letter for the case to be closed. I think this extra money going to my granddaughter is wrong for the dad. He's working a good job and supporting two other kids. I think he's paid me for the past where I supported his daughter. I want to return his money instead of giving it to my daughter. Is this fair? opinions? I wanted to tell him my plans so if my daughter asks him, we can both say the state stopped it. She'll be mad if she finds out.

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:06 PM on Jan. 14, 2010 in Money & Work

Answers (10)
  • I would put it into a savings account for your granddaughter. Maybe a 529 account to save for her college education?

    Answer by missanc at 6:09 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • i think it seems like an ok idea. my grandparents raised me... and in the beginning when i was very young, my dad was supposed to pay child support. (he never did, but my grandparents didnt go after him, bc they were just happy that i was in good care). but i know that if he was paying it... they wouldnt want any of the money going to my mom. (she has issues of her own). any money should go solely to the granddaughter. good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:11 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • It seems okay, but your punishing your grandkid by with-holding the money, why not use it an buy things for the kid or give it grocery store gift cards to her, then you would know how the money is being spent and who it is going to--ie your grandchild!

    Answer by kimigogo at 7:32 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • I would go back to court to have the order dropped. But in my state if you owe arrears you have to pay it NO matter what. I would not give that money to your daughter. Just give it back to him for now.

    Answer by r00j04j08 at 10:47 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • put that extra money in and account for you granddaughter and tell your daughter that the state stopped sending you that much more what is she going to know

    Answer by parrott39 at 10:54 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • IDK where you live, but here, if you get ordered to pay back CS, you pay it, no exceptions. The courts are basically granting you a refund of what he SHOULD have been paying you all along. It may not seem fair to you, but it is YOUR money. I honestly do not think it is fair that your daughter is basically getting double child support from the father and you- why should you pay her a dime? You took in HER child when she was unable to care for her- she should be paying you!
    If you don't feel comfortable taking it, perhaps you could put it in a college savings account for your granddaughter? Or you could take it & use it to buy her things that you know she needs (clothes, shoes, school supplies).
    If you really feel that strongly about it, give it back to him. But let him keep paying it through the state so that it's done "legally". That way, if anything else comes up later on, he can show that he was responsible & paid it back.

    Answer by emslala at 12:32 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Put it in a trust fund for college only for that purpose or until she turn 25 if she doesn't go to college.  You can also buy US Savings Bonds


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:06 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • If it is arrears then it is supposed to go to you for the time that you had your granddaughter. If you feel guilty for taking it, then put it into a savings or college fund for her.

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 9:37 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • The money is to pay you back for all you have done. If you want to help him out go for it. You can put it in an account for your grandchild just don't put the moms name on it so if she flakes again she cannot drain it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:37 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • It sounds like you have a well thought out plan. Your daughter acts entitled to the money, which she is not.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

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