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I honestly don't know what to do, can somebody help?

I live with my little girls daddy. I love him to death, but he smokes pot regularly, and has said it was there before we got together, and it will be if I leave. I have left a couple of times, and he acts like he has changed so I go back, I don't want my little girl to grow up without her daddy, but I don't want her to be around him high. I don't know what to do though. Leaving him doesn't seem to work.

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libertylynn89

Asked by libertylynn89 at 6:13 PM on Jan. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • The pot is more important to him than you or your child are. The question is...do you want to play second fiddle to it?

    If not.,..LEAVE. Don't worry about changing him. Worry about what;s best for you and your child.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 6:15 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • i agree with gdiamante

    If you don't mind being the mistress while Miss Mary Jane steals his heart then stay. but if you really want to be the most important thing to him (and you and your child should be) then it's time to go. Of course, i think that counseling and rehab and what not should come before separation. But if he won't attend those then it's time to leave.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 6:38 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • CPS could take your child away from you if someone called them on him or if he gets in trouble and the police come in and see the pot. Is it worth losing your child? You can live independently and still have her in his life. Protect yourself and your child. He can take care of himself. He needs to find priorities.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:54 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • Okay when you say change is there more stuff than the pot smoking? I agree he shouldn't do it, but he was doing it before you got pregnant right? Many times chronic pot use is a sign of depression and or bi-polar disorder,, would he agree to go to some counseling to get to the bottom of the real problem? I think he wouldn't want to have is DD see him high, or would he want her to grow up to smoke weed all of the time? I would never under any circumstance leave her alone while he is smoking.... IDK I am sorry, but you knew he did this the whole time, if he is unwilling to hear any of it, I agree with PP and leave,,, also slap a mandatory drug UA on him ASAP,,,,this will insure SUPERVISED visitation. I hope it works out for you!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 7:23 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • It seems to me you have to make the decision. You have the power but you are giving it over to him. He gave you your choices. He said he is not going to stop smoking so your choice is to deal with it or leave.
    my2kids312

    Answer by my2kids312 at 8:16 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  •   It sounds like you need to decide what your willing to put up with. If it were me, I would not put up with it. If your kids can't come first then you need to get your kids and leave him. Your kids have to come first, not pot! He can pay child support and still do his pot. Good luck

    Texan1993

    Answer by Texan1993 at 8:54 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • OMG !!!!!!!!!!!!
    How many times have " I HEARD THAT" !!!!
    You knew this, when YOU MEET ME...............
    WELL DUD ?????
    Things change BUDDY ??????
    GIVE ME OR YOU A BREAK !!!!!!!
    He needs to grow, up and chose, what is MORE IMPORTANT !!!!!
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 12:19 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • THIS GUY NEEDS TO DECIDE WHATS MOST INPORTANT TO HIM UNTILL HE SEES THAT HE HAS A DRUG PROBLEM HE WILL KEEP ON KEEPING ON NO ONE CAN MAKE THAT DECISION FOR HIM BUT YOU SURE CAN REFUSE TO ALLOW HIM TO BE HIGH AROUND HIS CHILD AND IF HE KNOWS THAT YOU ARE GOING TO KEEP HIM AROUND EVEN WHILE USING HE HAS NO INCENTIVE TO QUIT OR GET HELP HE NEEDS CONSEQUENCES WE ALL HAD THEM I DID WHEN I WAS USING PRAYING THAT HE SEEKS HELP

    sweethonesty520

    Answer by sweethonesty520 at 12:41 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • I agree with the other women! You have more to lose if you stay.

    JaeNmissMae

    Answer by JaeNmissMae at 1:01 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • You cannot change him. And he doesn't appear to want to change. You know what is best for you and your child, and that is to leave and stay gone. Don't go running back to him when he says he's stopped. If you want to go back, make him prove it with rehab and counseling and random drug testing. He needs to grow up and earn you and his child back.

    And, frankly, you need to grow up, too. You're a mother; your child relies on you to keep her safe and to raise her in a safe environment. You cannot give her what she needs while you are living with him. He's made his choice. Now you have to make a choice, too.
    May-20

    Answer by May-20 at 10:25 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

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