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i know it sounds bad but..

im a young mom, 22. obviously not as mature as i thought was, definatly not ready to have a baby, but i thought i was. im so tired and i feel like alls my son does is cry in my fucken face all day and all night. hes almost 8 months old, and its obvious he likes my mom more then me. its getting to the point where i just cant even stand to be around him. i dont wanna take care of him, im sick of him crying in my fucken face all day & all night. i dread when my mom & my fiance leaves & im stuck here alone with his crying whining ass. i know it sounds so mean. i really do love him, but im just not a baby person, and i become a monster when im tired & im sick of being screamed at. i dont know what to do. whats wrong with me

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:06 PM on Jan. 14, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (31)
  • Well, this is the part about being a mom that NO ONE talks about. I just had my first at 28 (I'm married, have a good job and a husband) and boy was I in for a shock once I had her. I never expected it would be this much work. For most of my life, I've been able to do whatever i want, when I want. I could travel or shop or go to the movies, no problem. Well a child changes all of that. No one was honest about what I could expect, they were all so vague! But to be fair, if anyone had really been honest w/ me before I had her, I wouldn't have really understood, it's one of those things that you have to do and then you understand, no book can tell you what it's like to be a mother. Everyone has a hard time adjusting to parenthood. Those who say they don't are liars or are not remembering how hellish those first few months are. The only thing I can tell you is it gets better, time goes by and they grow up.
    danielp

    Answer by danielp at 5:16 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • You need to talk to you Dr. I think you may have some depression. Also talk to your Mom and Fiance how you are feeling. They will be able to help you. Even older mothers have problems and depression does not help.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:11 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • I think you need to see a therapist. Honestly. Figure out why its affecting you so much. I have 4 children. I understand the lack of sleep, and I understand the crying babies. My youngest was Colicky, on top of having an almost 1 yr old to take care of when he was born, and a husband who deploys frequently. Its not easy.
    I was also young, 20, when my first was born. I will tell you there is a big difference in the way it felt being a mother at 20, as being a mother in my 30's.
    But I think you need to talk to someone, who can help you learn ways to relax. When your tense and stressed, and pissed off that baby is going to be the same way. Honest.
    That is most likely why you think the baby likes your mom more. She is probably more relaxed around the baby...
    PennStateMomma

    Answer by PennStateMomma at 10:11 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • There is nothing wrong with you, its just that your a new mom and your a little stressed out. Do you think that you could be suffering from postpartum depression, it can occur within the first few weeks up to a year.? I'm also a new mom, I'm young, 21 years of age. If you are stressed, tired, angry or etc your son can feel that. If you are breastfeeding, it may turn your milk sour, or so thats what my sons ped told me. You may be going through a stage they call the 'Baby Blues'. Talk to your doctor, your mom and your fiance. Let them understand what your going through and see what suggestions they come up with.
    NervousMomy

    Answer by NervousMomy at 10:12 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • From experience, sounds like post partum depression. I went through the same things and I was all alone because I had no family around and dh was deployed.

    You need to make an appointment with your doctor. An anti depressant really helped me. And try to make time for yourself!! If you feel like you are about to lose it, put your son in his crib and walk outside for a few minutes to catch your breath and regain your composure. Call a friend and vent for a few minutes. 8 months was a bad time for me too. It will get better :)
    all4mymarine

    Answer by all4mymarine at 10:13 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • I know how you feel. Being frustrated and annoyed by whining and crying does not make you a bad mom or a bad person.
    There is a fine line between love and anger, and it is very tiring and emotionally draining to be mommy all the time.
    Can you try to get in touch with a MOPS or Moms' Club group near you so you will have some time to talk with other moms in person while he plays with other kids? I have been there, and I know it's not easy, but he will get through this stage and so will you. Big Hugs for you! Hang in there. See if there is any way you can get a break for yourself, even if you just go to the mall and wonder around, or go sit in the library and read a magazine or book for a half hour so you can re-center yourself. It will all be ok, I promise it gets better.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • Oh, I was 23 and went through hell and high water to have my son with fertility doctors and medications. He was very wanted but it was a tough time!
    all4mymarine

    Answer by all4mymarine at 10:14 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • i understand that you are tired and didnt expect how hard a kid is, but he is your responsibility. of course he will gravitate to your mother because she is a mom, and has been through all this before! you are new to this... and you both have a lot of bonding to do.... just stay calm.. if you have to walk away sometimes to take a breather, its okay... itll get easier as time goes by... good luck!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • Did you expect to get pity? Not going to happen from me. Yes, you are a young mother but the way you sound is more like 16 than 22. You should never talk about your child that way, you should be ashamed. There is obviously a reason why he is crying so much, and I'm betting you are a big part of that. Maybe you should try some parenting classes or family counseling because you have issues and it's going to affect a poor innocent baby.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

  • Sweetie it sounds like you might have PPD:( some babies cry alot and sometimes we just dont bond with them right away. My DD and I did not bond for 7 months and I seriously didnt want to be around her and didnt feel like I even liked her during that time. But then one day she stopped crying and I was able to bond with her. Dont give up and dont chalk it up to you being a bad mom. I have a feeling you will get reamed in here but unless you been there, you cant understand it. I was VERY confused because I instantly feel in love with my son the second he was born so I didnt understand why I couldnt love her. I felt like the worlds worst mommy for not wanting to be around her. Like I said though, it literally changed over night. When she was 7 months everything changed. She is now 2 1/2 and is a mini me and I LOVE her so very much!! I have regrets over those first 7 months but there is nothing I can do to change it.
    Jaydin_Makenna

    Answer by Jaydin_Makenna at 10:15 PM on Jan. 14, 2010

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