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What does this add up too?

Hubby has started being secretative, he doesn't want me to have the cell phone (we have a prepaid so I can't get records) he is rude and mean to me, calls me names, tries to pick fights, I've caught him in lies about work times. He got furious when he said he had some meeting on Monday (not required he wants to go to it) so I scheduled a doctor's appt for the time he should be home (we only have one car) and he got really pissed. He has lied to me about text messages. This just started about 3 weeks ago. Tonight he started in on me and I told him that's it, I don't want to talk to you, leave me alone and haven't said a word to him all night. Seems to work better than letting him argue with me. Don't tell me to leave, that isn't an option right now. But I would like to catch him, any ideas?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:35 AM on Jan. 15, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • def sounds like he could be cheating. . . an ex and i got like this right before i caught him cheatin. it wasnt pretty. i also know what you mean when you say that you cant just leave right now. i would honestly sit down and talk to him and say look, i think you are having an affair and if you are just tell me and we can go from there. i wouldnt accuse him right off the bat bc he might get defensive and start a fight but i wouldnt just let ikt happen either. good luck to you

    Answer by Mommy2Layla08 at 2:52 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • I'm sorry that you're going through this. It definetly sounds like he's cheating on you. If you want to catch him, try waiting until he takes a shower or goes to sleep and get a hold of his phone. Check the call log and inbox for suspicious calls and text messages. If you can't get a hold of his phone, follow him. Have a friend come and pick you up and see where he is actually going.

    Answer by TattooedMommy04 at 2:48 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • I agree with the PP, get a friend with a car and follow him, don't forget the flashless camera and video camera also, if you get a divorce and have issues then you will have proof of the infidelity. A prepaid cell always keeps a call log until the owner erases it so look that up when you get the phone and write it all down as quick as you can, or take a pic of each screen then copy off the pic. Search your car for signs of other women. Call his work when he is supposed to be there and talk to somebody else and see if he is there or not. You may even get info from a co worker, you just have to be sneaky, and I would keep ignoring him.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 2:54 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Oh yeah forgot to mention no sex until you find out for sure you dont want anything he might bring home

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 2:54 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Is sleeping out on the couch a good idea to really make a point with him that I am so f'ing pissed off about it all?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:58 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Why bother with all that crap? Just get to a place in you life where you can leave him and leave it at that. What put yourself through more then you need to. I would do that, then when your ready hand divorce papers to your husband... Tell him you know he is cheating and that is that. I do agree with one thing the PP said. NO SEX. don't want to catch something from that asswipe! Gl.


    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 3:05 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Or if you want to stay, KILL HIM WITH KINDNESS. Even if he is cheating you treat him great, even if he treats you bad, treat him great. Make him feel so guilty with the love you still have for him. That's one way to catch a cheater, On works if he cares. though.


    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 3:09 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • What a jerk. I feel bad for you hun. GOod luck.

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 7:06 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Why don't you just ask him? Lay out all of the odd things that have been happening, and ask for an explanation. Playing games, following him around - it's a waste of your energy. When you have that conversation, you will know one way or the other if he's cheating by how he responds.

    Answer by Scuba at 7:47 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • I feel bad for you too, because in my experience this is not looking good. I don't usually say "no sex" because I don't think sex should be used as a tool, but in this case if he is cheating, then he could bring something back and give it to you, so no sex until this is cleared up. Secrets in a relationship are never a good thing. Don't know how you would catch him, and men NEVER admit it. But you do need to confront him and talk this out. Good luck.

    Answer by TarLion at 12:36 PM on Jan. 15, 2010