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i am so worried because he has paid!!!!!! child support...help.

my son has not seen his dad in over 2 yrs. Last march i got a court order for child support and he is behind a couple thousand dollars but last night i checked the card and there was 900 on it! I think he is trying to catch up. We do have court on the 25th of next month but thats just because i complained about the non-payment. Do you think he is just paying to keep his butt out of jail? Also my biggest fear is that he would be able to have some rights to my son. The case worker told me that he would have to get a lawyer...but what if he did? How do you think a judge would rule seeing that he hasnt seen my son in over 2 yrs...also he has felony charges...he lives with his mother...i could go on. I know a judge wouldnt give him custody but would they give him half? I could not live with that!

Answer Question
 
shay1130

Asked by shay1130 at 8:53 AM on Jan. 15, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 27 (32,809 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • child support and visitation are not tied to each other, so yes he could get visitation even if he is not current on his support
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 8:56 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • what i'm asking is...seeing that he hasnt seen my son in over 2 yrs how do you think that would play out?
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:58 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • wouldnt a judge look at a childs well being instead of trying to please my ex...would they suggest counseling or something first. My son hardly remembers him.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:01 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Sometimes people change. maybe he realizes what a mistake he's made letting his child out of his life for so long and he's trying to make it right by catching up on child support and maybe even asking to see him. Who knows.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:02 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Honey, I am almost in the same boat...Exception: My ex almost always pays his support for my 3, he also has 2 other children by 2 different women. He has gotten the nastiest lawyer around here and is dragging me through hell and back for custody or 50/50. It has been grueling! I don't know how I am going to take it if he does get anything other than what we already have court ordered; and that is he gets them every FRICKIN weekend already. He just doesn't want to pay support anymore! Hang in there! I know I am trying! Our guardian ad litem is making her recommendation to the judge at the end of this month.(I haven't gotten much sleep).
    My3RaysofSun

    Answer by My3RaysofSun at 9:02 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • even after time has gone by they might see it as he is the dad and has a right to see his son, if he was behind on cs then he could go to jail but they wont say ohhh u dont pay u dont get to see. my question is why hasent he seen his son? jail, lives to many states away?? or is he just an ass/bum.? and also did he just start paying or was it lil by lil..did he just come up with the 900? maybe he got his taxes ( known to come early sometimes for the lucky ones )cause if he owed that much and hes working and they found him they would garnish his wages or take his tax return. keep track of everythin if u can. good luck hun but judge will see if son is safe and dad is no threat they will say every other weekend or something like that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:08 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • he was in jail for the past 8 months and just got out around thanksgiving. before that (i didnt have court ordered child support) he didnt see him because i would ask him to get him every other weekend and he wouldnt hold his word to it...so i told him if he cant keep his word and get him when he says he is going to then he isnt going to get him at all. I was tired of seeing my sons heart break from being stood up by the jerk. After i told him that he made no effort to call or keep in touch until i enforced the child support...then all he did was make threats
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:22 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • sounds like you are stressing yourself for nothing if you have court order support and his has a job they will take it right out of his check and he has no say so about ......as for visitaions most judges with refer you to a middle person first to see if the two of you can work something out first...if you cant then the judge will step in and make a ruling.....so just tell the court appt. middle person your concerns and how you would like it handled and go from there...good luck
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 10:02 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • He is still the child's father and has rights. Maybe next time don't have sex with someone you don't even like and make a baby with him. He didn't just suddenly become a jerk one day. I would suspect you knew that already and still made a child with him. This isn't about you or him this is about the child hopefully someday you and your childs father both grow up and put him first.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:44 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • I would say more than likely he has paid this $900 just to keep his butt out of jail. That will look good on him when you go to court. Child support and visitation are two seperate issues. He could get visistation or shared parenting, but he will need an attorney to do this. It seems now days the courts are big on the shared parenting....but that doesn't mean he would get out of paying child support.
    robyann

    Answer by robyann at 1:21 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

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