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would u hide or sneak money from your hubby if he didnt give u any??

my live in boyfriend of 4 yrs is a bit frugal.. and being that im a SAHM that only works 2 days a wk, im always broke. i pay the water bill off one check and the internet off the other, so that leaves me with about 50 bucks for myself for 2 weeks. then i will have to buy things for the house (tissue, underwear, soap, etc) and im usually down to about 30 for 2 weeks the day after i get paid lol he get paid about 850 every two week and pays 400 for rent and 125 for lights and 125 for car and puts gas in. he also supports his nasty smoking habit (which is about 100 a week lol) but he never trys to give me any money for myself for anything! i literally have beg for money to buy kids clothing! the rest of his money goes in the bank. which is good, but still i am in need of things like a good pair of shoes, anything lol. what should i do he always says hes broke but will have 400 in checking acct. with all the bills done lol

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:51 AM on Jan. 15, 2010 in Money & Work

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I would leave. If you are "live in" of 4 years, I'd say that's a serious relationship and it's about time you start acting like it and get a joint account and stop this he pays this I pay that crap. You are a family now, so it should be family money. And the bills and additional needs and savings desires should be communicated between the two of you and worked out that way. If I had to "beg" my husband for money, he would not be my husband for long. I'm sorry, but relationships thrive off of respect and it sounds like he's not respecting you based on the info you have given. If he can't step up and treat you like an adult, get the heck out of there.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Yeah I'd keep a little for myself. I'd also try to save as much money as possible by coupons and stuff. Check out consignment shops for clothes but I'd always buy shoes new. Just icks me out. It doesn't look like you have a big income as a family anyway so see if there is any gov assistance. I'm kind of wondering about how you pay for groceries and such.
    Good luck on your money stuffs!
    AmandaI1021

    Answer by AmandaI1021 at 10:58 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • um, I know I won't be popular for this response, BUT... you should be THRILLED that money is in the bank, and available for things that you NEED- for emergencies, etc. I know you likely want to spend money on yourself and "fun" things, but the world will not come to an end without them either. If it bothers you so much, then why not ask him why he is so "frugal"? Is there a reason, is it just in his nature not to spend money frivolously?
    Maybe try saving your money, instead of spending it on random stuff. I'm sorry, but if you saved your $30 for a couple of paychecks you would have what you want... he is supporting the household, and as much as you may want things, all of your immediate NEEDS like a roof over your head, running water, electricity, nourishment... those are all met, and then some. Be thankful that he doesn't go blow his entire paycheck and have nothing left to pay bills with.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 11:00 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Maybe you could just take your check and get your shoes, or whatever you need, then tell him that you don't have enough money to cover the bills you normally cover. Let him pay them!
    robyann

    Answer by robyann at 11:05 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Did you say he is your Boy friend? OMG I would get the hell out of there. HE IS NOT YOU FATHER. I HOPE YOU DO NOT MARRY THIS GUY!
    I GET SICK when I hear that he will not give me any money. If take care of him and his home you do not have to ask!!!!

    If you are a adult you should be treated like one, do not put with this shit.

    WHY WOULD ANY WOMEN LET ANY MAN TREAT HER LIKE A CHILD????

    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 11:08 AM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Nope. I would never take or hide money from my DH. However, I would also never allow him to tell me what I can and can't spend. Any man (or woman) that tried to control me like that would have another thing coming! If I were you, I would simply tell him "We are a team or I'm going it alone!" There is no reason for anyone to try to control like that. You are either a partnership or you aren't. If you are then you get equal everything, if you aren't then what is the point of pretending??
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 12:02 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Yes, my ex was very controlling and I hid enough money away until I had a nice stash to leave his A$$ with.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 12:20 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • well i am home..and i work side jobs online to bring in money and he doesnt know about it cuz he would die if he was how broke we are..he bitches about needing money and when he asked i give..i give cuz i work my a$$ off everday so he doesnt know how life truely is.. his dad called and said the car insurance was due on top of last month and this months car payment...$1,018..so he freaks out..and im like..itll be ok...so he calls his mom..she thinks im spending all the money..ok help me do math...400 car, 320 cell, 35 internet. 75 cigs. 250 power, 40 diapers/wipes, 100 in creditors we make 600 every two weeks.... so 1200 thats if he doesnt miss anydays... how much do we have for groceries.. ??? i came up with -$20 for food..maybe thats why we only get milk and bread on occasion...without me bringing in anything we are so dead..
    swaney06

    Answer by swaney06 at 12:29 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • You need to sit down and have a grown up conversation. I would never conduct myself like that. Stop playing house.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • If he is just your "boyfriend" you are on your own. If Iwere you, I would look for a nice,intelligent guy and get married. Then when you both work the money you both make should be combined into a household expenses and personal checking accounts .....don't waste your time and money and life on an idiot boyfriend/SO. A SO is a dime a dozen. A good husbnad is a treasure...go look for one!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:14 PM on Jan. 15, 2010