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Fucking pissed

This morning I look at my bf's phone to see if it needs charging and he has a text message from a coworker of his (a woman). The text was sent this morning and says "Sorry can't make it today. Maybe next week. :)" He's off on vacation for the next week and a half. I hate to feel so damn paranoid but wtf? We have just 1 car which I took to work this morning. Last night when I asked if I could take the car he replied with "I guess you can take the car." Was he planning on meeting her or something. They do have to talk quite a bit for work but outside of work? um, no.

My ex was a cheating bastard and I don't want to see my bf this way but alarms are just going off in my head. So my question is, how would you feel.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:16 PM on Jan. 15, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (23)
  • **Update**
    So we talked and the text was actually from yesterday. When I glanced at it this morning I read the time as 458 am. But the text was really 458 PM. They were going to a mangerial meeting (which he had told me about the day before.) and she could not make it.

    So long story short I jumped the gun. His reaction? At first a little pissed then laughed at me. So as an apology, I'm buying sushi tonight. But thanks for the advice ladies.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Well, the fact that you have been cheated on before is going to make you more paranoid of course, but I don't think I would be very happy either. Flat out tell him exactly what you told us and ask him what they were meeting for. Explain to him that you are wary because you have been cheated on before, and it's not that you don't trust him, but that you need extra reassurance.

    Answer by kitten_shuga at 12:19 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Ask him about it and see how he reacts..... but knowin you cant follow him around if he goes out makes it tough.

    Answer by pennstatemama21 at 12:20 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • I'd be planning some heinous crime that involved poisoning his food or commiting the Loreena Bobbit act.. or some such thing, and fleeing the country so I don't get caught...but that's just me. I'm sorry for your pain (((HUGS)))

    Answer by chocolatluver at 12:24 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • That isn't enough to make me suspicious of anything. He's not allowed to have lunch with coworkers?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:31 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • He's allowed of course. I just hate to be paranoid. He's also very open about lunch and dinner with people. In fact, that's rare because he's a hermit. Stays home ALL of the time to play WoW. Which I don't care. But he erased all of his previous messages including the ones he sent to her.

    I don't want to fly off on this suspicion but why erase everything?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • And why not mention it either?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:35 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • He pretended he had no need for the car and nothing to do today, right? If his plans were innocent, why did he hide them from you? It would be different if he were forthright with you and told you he was meeting her....maybe...

    Answer by chocolatluver at 12:37 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Just tell him what you said here, "I thought your phone needed charging, I picked it up and there was a text. I was just curious... why were you planning on meeting her outside work?" And you could explain to him, you are cautious about things because of your ex being a cheating a$$ and that you don't think of him like that but to calm your curious side, you'd like to know whats going on... cause that other guy really did a number on your trust issues. Making yourself vulnerable like that will either make him A. feel bad for you and explain totally whats going on or B. clam up and get pissed, at which time I'd begin to suspect foul play, cause there is no reason for him to be pissed at all.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • He didn't necessarily pretend. He just didn't say anything.

    As for going to meet here i would have probably said, cool have fun. Instead I'm angry at the insinuation hiding it brings.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:41 PM on Jan. 15, 2010