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I feel like the worst mom there is!!!!

I can not get through my 4 yr old sons head he is not supposed to hit, kick or push other people. I feel like I have tried positive and negative reinforcement. Nothing works its all a game to him. He thinks its funny and keeps doing it. And all I can think of is I can't raise one kid right and here I am pregnant with another. What was I thinking??

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JrSmOm2005

Asked by JrSmOm2005 at 12:21 PM on Jan. 15, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 4 (44 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I dont have experience with kids that age, but Im sure youre not the worst mom out there! Just keep trying to teach him, Im sure he'll get it.
    Aqua_Jen

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 12:22 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • time outs!
    mirit.rose

    Answer by mirit.rose at 12:25 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • That's what boys do~! It doesn't make you a bad Mom!!!! Don't be so hard on yourself hun...I agree, time outs or taking away priviledges would be the smart thing...I don't believe spanking helps, it reinforces that hitting is ok...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • I know this is exhausting, but every time he does this put is butt in time out. If he gets up, put him back. It may take hours before he sits for 4 minutes, but eventually, if you keep at him he will. He just needs to know he cannot break you. You are not a bad mom, just tired and frustrated. Pick the next time he does this and stick to it no matter what, you will win.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 12:28 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Consistency is key. Pick a method and stick to it. Don't expect immediate results, it takes time and a lot of discipline on your part. You are not a bad mom. This is one of the biggest issues that mom's face and it is perfectly normal to struggle with it. Some kids are naturally less inclined to act out in these ways and it can make it feel like you are a terrine mom because you see other kids behaving so well - trust me no child is perfect and no parent is perfect. We all have our battles.

    The mere fact that you care and are concerned means that you are NOT a bad mom. A bad mother would make excuses, deny the problem, or ignore it. You are a good mother struggling with a tough dilemma - NOT a bad mother with a bad kid.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 12:32 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Youre not a bad mom. Some kids are just more stubborn then others. I have 5, and my oldest boy was always that way. They do grow out of it and dont go around hitting, kicking and biting people when they are teenagers.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:49 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • You are not a bad mom… some kids just don’t get it! Mine did not get it she would bite people (mostly me) all the time I tried everything with no luck. One day I was talking to my mom and she told me “this sounds mean but you have to do to her what she is doing to other people and you have to make it hurt.” ( not at all like leave a bruise or hurt hurt)but you have to make them see how it fills. Well I did not want to do it so I continued to try it my way for about 2 months then one day I bit her back. And she has not bit me since. I know some people are going to say that there is no way you would ever do something like that to your kid but I did not hurt her and she was over it in like 3 min but she don’t bit anymore and she will tell me mom I no bit my friends because it hurts and I don’t want to hurt my friends.
    kristyleigh614

    Answer by kristyleigh614 at 1:12 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Consistancy, not child abuse (such as biting your child), is going to teach him.
    MoonLover06

    Answer by MoonLover06 at 1:28 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • It sounds like you are jumping all over the place. Rule number one with kids is be consistent, always. Pick a punishment/reward, and stick with it; if the behavior continues, add on to the original punishment (for example, timeout for the first offense, time out and no TV for two days for the second, etc.)
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:18 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • You are NOT the worst mom in the world. Just hang in there. This too shall pass. Why don't you watch supernanny maybe that will help you get some ideas. I remove priveledges and time out or frounding is enforced when my daughter acts up which I am very lucky is seldom. She is a great kid!!! Good luck
    Texan1993

    Answer by Texan1993 at 11:23 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

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