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Have you made arrangements for the care of your child if something were to happen to you and your spouse?

My BFF is strongly suggesting that I put in writing my wishes for the raising of my DD if something were to happen to me and my Hubby. Have you done this? Do you need to see an attorney? and most importantly how did you and your DH come to an agreement on who the caregiver should be? Arrgh!


Asked by chefronswife at 12:38 PM on Jan. 15, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (14)
  • We talked about the choices early on and we chose good friends we've known for 10+ years that couldn't have children of their own.

    There are many factors when choosing godparents. Religion, beliefs, values, and morals are to name a few. We weighed out the facts, whomever we chose had to not only be mentally and physically capable of raising four children that had lost their parents, but also had to be financially capable of taking on such a task. The couple we chose one is a computer tech making great money, the other is a child therapist; we feel we made the wise choice. We do not have the money for attorneys however if you do a power of attorney is what I’d go with, one that specializes in legal will and testaments. We chose an online site, Legal Zoom, to do the legal papers and had them notarized. We handed copies to the godparents and both sets of grandparents; originals placed in a fire-safe.

    Answer by Knightquester at 2:19 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Yes. It's incredibly irresponsible not to do so.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • OP: Anon12:38 = Ok I know that it would be irresponsibly NOT to do this - that is WHY I am asking the question

    Answer by chefronswife at 12:40 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • i haven't done that i just assume if anything where to happens to us family would have to take over but i don't have anything in writing

    Answer by mirit.rose at 12:49 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • The plan had been my dad and I had been talking to him about it on a Sunday, that Friday he died. Now we haven't decided. Most likely it would either be one of my sisters or one of my bils.

    Answer by jombmomi at 12:56 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Yes we have talked about it and we know who she would go to and so dose the rest of our friends and family. It is a hard choice to make. We looked at the financial standing of the couple that we are going to leave her with. (Can the afford to have another child) there relationship states.( like are they in a good relationship that is going to last) are they married (we did not want to leave her with two people that where not married) and did they have the same religious and family outlook that we have. We are christens that go to church 3 times a week and we try to have a strong walk in the lord and we wanted to see that who ever we left her with followed through with raising her that way. We are also from two different states (my husband and i) and I wanted to make sure that out dd got to see both my side of the family and his. You can go to and rite a will up or you do have to go see a attorney. It is really i

    Answer by kristyleigh614 at 12:57 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Nope. I can't make that decision. I don't know anyone that I trust enough to raise my children.

    Answer by purpleducky at 12:58 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • I have but it still stresses me out. I don't really have anyone who I want to raise my children. It's my biggest fear.

    Answer by MoonLover06 at 1:50 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Absolutely. This is spelled out in our will.

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:15 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • We have no one to really leave the kids to if we were to die. My dad said he will take them for as long as he is able but then...
    My dad is 63, has had 1 heart attack already and is disabled due to a back injury. He can barely take care of himself let alone 4 (soon to be 5) kids. Our other options are my sisters-in-law. One lives in a trailer with her husband and huge dog and my husband suspects her of dealing drugs out of her barn (or at least letting someone use it for that purpose...they have security cameras all over their property). His other sil is disabled (back injury) and lives with my mil who has Parkinson's and Alzheimers in a 2 bedroom house. They are worse off then we are. My brother is single and lives in Oregon and hates kids. All of our aunts and uncles are getting up there in age and our cousins all have their own kids.
    We just go through life hoping nothing happens.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 3:05 PM on Jan. 15, 2010