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I need to teach my 13 year old a lesson any ideas???

She is losing her mind. JJ, but sometimes I feel like that.
She don't want to do anything, no cleaning, just sit and sit and sit...

What can I do to make her realize I am not playing anymore. I believe one swift kick in the butt might work, but I would rather not...

My little ones are getting on board, why can't she.

Answer Question

Asked by KFree907 at 1:23 PM on Jan. 15, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 20 (8,947 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Take away ALLLLL of her 'extras'. Cell phone, computer, Nintendo, Wii... EVERYTHING.

    Answer by RutterMama at 1:26 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Turn off the TV, unhook the computer or password it, take everything out of her room extra and then she will be so bored and mad she will ask what she has to do to get it back. Oh you can also just stop doing her dishes, and when its time to eat make her clean her own before she gets to eat so she sees its work to keep a house going. Dont do her laundry either.

    Answer by gemgem at 1:29 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Well she is 13 and that is how 13 year olds are. ..
    You could give her a chore list and when she neglects to do one of her chores you take something of hers away. (I would start with the phone) for at least one day and it would go longer and longer till she got on board. I would say something like “you are a part of this family and as a family we expect you to pull your load do your part”. And then when she don’t I would say” ok hand over the phone a phone is a privilege and if you can’t pull your weight then you are not going to be given privileges” then I would again tell her what was expected of her and give her the consequences if she dose not get them done. you could take away any thing from a phone to a night that she had planed to go to a friends, the tv and the list gos on and on. Good luck.

    Answer by kristyleigh614 at 1:33 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • when I was younger and wouldn't help out, my mom decided to stop "helping" me. She stopped doing my laundry, stopped cooking for me, stopped washing any dishes other than what she dirtied. It was either start helping or go to school in stinky clothes, eat off dirty dishes or not eat at all.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:35 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Try asking her what it will take to have her be a good roommate

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:11 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Tell her what you need her to do once and only once and give a deadline that is far enough out she has time to complete the task. Then, when the deadline passes and the task isn't done take something she values and sell it or pawn it. When she asks about it, just say, "Since you didn't have time to do "X" for me, I had to sell "Y" to pay someone else to do it.

    If you don't feel like taking stuff, then wait until the deadline passes and gather everyone up to go get ice cream or whatever you think she would want to do. When she goes to get in the car say, "Oh, I'm sorry, but you have to stay home and do "X". Maybe next time you will get it done when I ask. My daughter was 12 the first time I tried this, and it worked incredibly well.

    Whatever you do, don't let her pull you into an arguement. Just say, "I love you too much to argue" and say it as your response to whatever arguement she puts forth.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:21 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • I have a 9 year old,this is what I did with him recently because I am just fed up with his mouth,attitude towards me and his unwillingness to help out. I made a list of what was to be his privledges (not his rights) such as watching tv,playing the wii, using the phone,basketball practice,his basketball games,having friends over etc...and I made a list of chores..then I made a list of consequences. With each completed chore, he gains minute access to his activities (like 45 minutes of wii for one chore). If he chooses not to complete a chore, he gets these things taken away. He has 5 warnings and by the end..he'll have not one thing left. But I've made it fun for him too by adding a "special ticket bucket" filled with slips of paper for extra things/rewards he gets (movie with mom,friend can spend the night,etc). Also made an extra chore bucket for a consequence.Privledges earned not given.Wk1=working great!(so far,lol)

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 5:10 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

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