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clingy toddler

i'm 7 months pregnant and i have a very clingy, possessive 22 month old. every day is a failed attempt to wean her from breastfeeding. i've talked to my doc about the nursing, and he wishes i would have her weaned already, however he says many moms continue to bf during pregnancy without any serious complications. i'm ready for her to stop, but it seems impossible because she is attatched to me by the hip. if i sit down, she'll sit on my lap, and will throw a tantrum when i take her off. if i lay down, she'll try to climb on me. if i walk, she hugs my legs. when she plays alone and notices i'm not there, she'll drag me to where she is. when i watch tv, she grabs my face and kisses me. btw, she co-sleeps. she's very affectionate, but aggressive & is the tantrum queen. i didn't have this problem with her older sister so i don't know what to do, esp when the new baby comes. how can i teach her independence in 2 months?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:02 PM on Jan. 15, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • (cont.) bla bla bla. Then I would tell her she can play with her toys, or read a story and mommy will play with her when I'm done. It's just something that they have to learn. I just talk to her. Communication is key. It seems to me like your daughter wants to play and cuddle. So maybe you can call it cuddle time and you can set time apart in the morning and afternoon. When your doing it, call it "Cuddle Time" and tell her when your doing it. Then let her know later that cuddle time is for later, then let her know when it is cuddle time. Also let her know that she can have kisses and hugs all throughout the day, but save most of them for Cuddle time. Maybe that works? Good luck!

    PS im still breastfeeding too, and co-sleep. I'm teaching her that "nana" is for morning time only... it's we're sticking to it, and it's working pretty well. It's actually gotten her to sleep through the night for most nights. :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Why on earth does your doctor think that your child should be weaned? Millions of mothers successfully tandem nurse. The clinginess is a good thing - it is a sign of how well bonded you and your child are. Baby led weaning is always best! The World Health Organization, operating without the influences of the dairy, formula and porn industries (unlike American doctors) recommends breastfeeding for a minimum of 24 months. Certainly give her a sippy cup with water, and make sure that she is eating a variety of healthy foods: fruits, vegetables, whole grains, beans, lentils, tofu, etc.
    Remember that cow milk is for baby cows, and humans don't need it. Like many other nutrients, and despite the claims of the dairy industry, plant based calcium is superior to animal based.


    Answer by rkoloms at 2:05 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • While cow mild is rich in protein, the kind of protein that is contains is casein, while human milk protein is lactalbumin, with is easily digestible; more the 50% of casein isn’t digested and can cause health problems later in life, like food allergies.  Here is some of what the doctors at the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine say:


    Answer by rkoloms at 2:06 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • OP here-- i want to wean her because i feel like i'm ready to stop nursing her. i'm more concerned with correcting her behavior before her sibling arrives. she's very possessive of me, and i know tandem nursing with her is not a possibility. she would probably hit the new baby or try to kick him. and i believe that continuing to nurse her plays a big part in her clinginess. as i'm typing this, she is sitting on my lap & taking my hands off the keys to hug her. i don't know how i will be able to care for a newborn if she continues to be this demanding. i'm hoping someone has advice to teach her how to do most things on her own but still somehow continue the loving affectionate relationship we have.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • I have a clingy 15 month old too :) I have elmo and norah janes playing on half of the computer screen otherwise she'll try to type herself. I'm going to get her her own laptop so she feels like a "big girl." Actually, I don't even need anything playing right now, she's occupied herself with some sticky pads. :) I think a lot of it has to do with communication. Babies are incredibly smart, and if you talk to them like they do understand what you're saying, they kind of do. My daughter does baby sign with me, and we sing a waiting song that I made up because sometimes she gets impatient. When I lay her down for a nap, she'll fuss at first and then I just tell her that babies need their rest and that she'll feel so much better once she sleeps for a little while, I'll talk for a minute or two and then I leave. When she clings to my legs, I will get down to her level and explain to her that mommy needs to walk so I can ..

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on Jan. 15, 2010