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please help me understand this

k my fil is 74yrs old. he got diagnosed with prostate cancer in early dec. stage 2. they have yet to start treatment and on top of that he going out of town for a few wks. i asked dh why his dad hadnt started treatmentcancer runs in my family and most have died. anyways he goes and tell me that the doctor said he ddint need treatment right away or at all and that thye could just do agressive wathcing. am so lost? i dont think the underatnd how severe cancer can be and that it can spread fast

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piwife

Asked by piwife at 2:49 PM on Jan. 15, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 16 (2,685 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I really don't know why it isn't being treated. Maybe your FIL is afraid of the treatment and isn't telling your husband everything. Or maybe he needs a new doctor.


    Last year my fil had a stroke. He knew he was having a stroke because he had double vision and was numb on one side of his body. He called his doctor from home and told him his symptoms over the phone. Doctor said yes you are having a stroke get to the hospital right away. My fil decides to take an aspirin, take a shower, shave, have something to eat, then had my mil drive him to the hospital three hours later. Thankfully he took an aspirin and is fine.  They didn't call and tell anyone what happened until the next day.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 3:02 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • My grandpa has had prostate cancer for 7 years now. He immediately had his prostate out and went through some radiation. I don't know what stage it was. From what I am told, prostate cancer is slow growing and many men live for 10+ yrs after they are diagnosed with it. There may be something that is not being said by your FIL. He may not want to scare anyone and is keeping things to himself or he could be scared to start treatment.
    irishmama1007

    Answer by irishmama1007 at 3:04 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Maybe your FIL doesn't want treatment. Not that he is 'old' but maybe he doesn't want to spend his last days - however long or short they may be - in and out of doctor's offices and hospitals goign through chemo, radiation and surgery.
    RutterMama

    Answer by RutterMama at 3:05 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • my fil is a very religious perosn. he is one of those who tell you your going to hell if your not christian. anyways maybe he thinks prayer will help. the one who told him he that it could be wathc was his regular doctor, he went to the oncologist and he tole him he needed radition for 2 mts 5 times a wk. my fil barely speaks english but he is really stubborn and thinks he is always right.
    piwife

    Answer by piwife at 3:07 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Maybe your FIL doesn't want treatment. Not that he is 'old' but maybe he doesn't want to spend his last days - however long or short they may be - in and out of doctor's offices and hospitals goign through chemo, radiation and surgery.

    yeah but he has no option he has a wife. and 2 kids 15 and 13 to take care of
    piwife

    Answer by piwife at 3:08 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Your father-in-law is 74 and has two kids ages 13 and 15? Wow, that's impressive. Maybe he doesn't want to have the treatment because sometimes that can cause impotency. I'm not trying to be mean, just making an observations.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:12 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • lol is k when i meet dh and he told me how old his dad was i was like wow. his parents have a 30 yr difference. i dont think he cares abou that anymore, now days he dozes off plus he also has heart problems. i used to see viagara in theri medice cabinet buit for the past year none. so i think sexy time has stop.
    piwife

    Answer by piwife at 3:18 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Maybe your FIL doesn't want treatment. Not that he is 'old' but maybe he doesn't want to spend his last days - however long or short they may be - in and out of doctor's offices and hospitals goign through chemo, radiation and surgery.

    i agree. and he has the option.. maybe he doesnt want them to see how he is when hes going through all of that. my grandfather died of lung cancer just recently he tried the treatments and when they said its not working we can try this he said no because he doesnt want to live like that and he doesnt want his wife (my grandmother) to see him that way because it would cause more pain for her. so he lived his last days doing everything he wanted to do, lots of time with family, his great grand daughter (my dd) and being as happy as possible. in the end its his choice not theirs.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • i agree. its his choice. but he never sepnds trime with his kids. he is wlaywas reading the bibble or yelling at them for everything. he works 2- 11 as a janitor so he dont see his kids except a lil at night time and on the weekends. as for his grandchildren. well we dont live in fl. so he only sees my kids a few times a year. he isnt scared about treatment . he is following what his doctor said.
    piwife

    Answer by piwife at 3:41 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Every cancer is different. Some are fast growing, some are aggressive, and some slow. The slow growing may only need be watched. Or they may be in a location where it will do no or limited harm. The only person qualified to make this call is the patient's doctor.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

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