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At what age do you consider it unaceptable that a child is still not potty trained?

My DS is 4.5 and has no interest in being potty trained. He is a child of average intelligence so understanding the process is not an issue. He knows what he is supposed to do he just won't. He will tell you he doesn't want to. I want to start spanking him when he has accidents but DH said not to. I get that but he is not 3 and just learning he is almost 5 and doing this intentionally. He will not be allowed to start kindergarten next fall if he doesn't get potty trained and the daycare he is at is complaining to. Yes he has been evaluated. Nothing-just a pest.


Asked by Anonymous at 3:12 PM on Jan. 15, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (64)
  • My son knew all about it and enjoyed sitting on it but would not(refused)to actually do anything IN the toilet til he was 4. I asked his pediatrician and she said it was fine and not really a big deal til he was over 5 and school age. Then he could be tested for issues(which he didnt have just was stubborn).

    When he was a bit over 4 he finally decided he was ready and just started doing it. Had it down pat in like 3-4 days.


    Answer by Amaranth361 at 3:23 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • My son is 3 1/2yrs old and just as of a couple of weeks ago started taking interest in the whole potty training thing!! I was like FINALLY now when he uses it me and dh make a big big deal out of it by giving him a sticker and letting him put it on his potty poster, and jumping up and down yelling yaaaaa good job collin what a big boy you are and shower him with hugs and kisses and high 5's. I am soooo happy he is finally taking interest in it and doing well with it quickly too. Just started having him run around the house with just pants on no more diaper and after peeing all over the floor a million times he finally started using the potty so it was alot of cleaning but it is paying off now. Good Luck.

    Answer by jsimonds220 at 3:21 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • 3
    and in daycares I used to work in they were not allowed to go to the 4 year old class un potty trained

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:16 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • I would get him checked at the doctor.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • yea, i can understand how frustrating that can be. i'd be worried by age 4. maybe just try taking away his training pants cold-turkey and making him clean up after himself when he has an accident. he's old enough to know when he needs to go and should know how to hold it in already. maybe it just needs to be unpleasant for him for a while so he can learn how to make it easier for himself. it'll be tough for you also, but you'll have to be firm if he's going to start school soon. just sit him down and tell him that from this point on, if he needs to go potty, he needs to go to the bathroom & will be cleaning up his accidents if he doesn't.

    Answer by rAbella at 3:19 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • OP: Heh as to have pull ups for daycare they refuse to use cloth undies for him any more. he has been in underwear at home for the past 6 months. He is perfectly okay with cleaning them up. We have taken him to the ped. who sent him to a psychologist who deemed him as average with no mental delays. there is no medical reason for him to be doing this. Reward systems and making him responsible for the mess isn't working so I want to move on to punishment. Dh said that's mean.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • I would make him wear real underwear at home & clean up any accidents he has. That might make him think about how it would be easier & cleaner to just go in the potty.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:27 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • iss it just pee or pee and poop?
    maybe have them test his urine at the ped
    good luck

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 3:29 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • at home i would make him take breaks. Stop him from what he is doing every 30 mins and tell him to go try. Then if he does it let him know how proud you are. In time he will not need the break reminders and he will start going on his own

    Answer by shay1130 at 3:34 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Mine is 4.5 also, but he is Autistic and not trained.

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 3:48 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

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