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I'm in a predicament and don't know what to do. what would you do if you were in my shoes?

so i've been snooping through my significant other's phone and email for a few months now. i admit, it was wrong. and i can't explain why i did it either. we got into a fight this morning, and he said that if i did it again he'd leave (which i completely understand) and that i needed to prove to him how sorry i am (and i truly am). and please, i don't need anyone telling me how wrong it was or how wrong i am for doing it.

how would you fix a situation like this? i have no idea how to fix this..
thanks for reading.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:27 PM on Jan. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • well i snoop no wat near like i use too .. i dont think its wrnge if he has nothing too hide why be mad. thats just how i see it but every one has diff opions .. right....

    Answer by BellaDiamond at 3:29 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Has he given you any reason to snoop?
    I have three train for thoughts for this...
    One... If he has in the past been a cheater/liar then he should not have any expectation of privacy anymore.
    Two...If he has nothing to hide, why does he care if you look at his phone and emails?
    Three... If he has given you no reason to not trust him, why don't you trust him?
    Answer these questions and people can help you more.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 3:31 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • I'm not really sure how to help you on this. Like was it obvious that you were snooping through his things because my fiance and I know the usernames and passwords to anything we have on the internet and we both trade phones and look at each others texts for fun. We get a lot of funnies and sometimes we forget to send them to each other so we browse each others phones. I also wonder though, if he had nothing to hide then why was he so upset? Or maybe he is upset that you didn't trust him enough. Doesn't sound like you found anything so I am thinking that he is probably hurt that you don't trust him.

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 3:32 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Is he giving you a reason not to trust him?? If not then just tell him how truly sorry you are and let him know that you love and trust him that it's you just being insecure and promise him that you will stop doing it. Don't do it anymore unless you really really feel like he is doing something wrong otherwise you have to trust him because constantly doing this to someone in a relationship is basically telling that person that you have no trust in them what so ever. Good Luck.

    Answer by jsimonds220 at 3:32 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Is there a reason you suspected him? Did he do anything to warrent you having to do your undercover work? Imo it's wise to stay on top of what your man is up to, there are so many nasty and life threatening diseases out there and if you aren't using a condom you are putting yourself at risk if you don't feel like your man is trustworthy, it's just scary putting your health in someone else's hands like that, I don't think you are awful for being scared, don't let him make you feel like you're a monster for doing that. If you are insecure from past relationships with cheating then explain that to him and if he loves you he will feel your pain and understand.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:35 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • He'll never trust you again. I wouldn't either. Good luck.

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 3:35 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • I'm sorry, but that's very teen-agerish to be all offended and huffy about that. Maybe it was wrong to be all sneaky, but husband and wife actually knowing what's going on with the others phone or e-mails seems totally normal to me.

    We'll ask each other to check our e-mails from time to time just from being too lazy to check it ourselves.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:35 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • I don't like that he said you needed to prove how sorry you are...that's not nice, he has every right to feel hurt that you don't trust him if he is indeed a good man but telling you you have to prove how sorry you are sounds abusive and controlling to me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:37 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • sounds stupid...what does he want you to do to "prove" to him...give him a bj. he sounds like a womanizer.

    Answer by shay1130 at 3:39 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

  • Maybe if he was 'proving' to you everyday how much he loves you, you wouldn't feel insecure enough to want to snoop.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:43 PM on Jan. 15, 2010

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